- ‘Most giving is, as economists call it, impure altruism or warm-glow altruism. You give not only because you want to help but because it makes you look good, or feel good, or perhaps feel less bad.’ Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
- ‘Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.’ Jon Acuff
- ‘A man who tries to carry a cat home by its tail will learn a lesson that can be learned in no other way.’ Mark Twain
- ‘Enjoyment appears at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenges are just balanced with the person’s capacity to act.’ – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
- “Being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself — be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself — by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love — the more human he is.” Viktor Frankl
- “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl
- ‘I discovered early on that people don’t buy from me because they understand what I’m selling. They buy because they feel understood.’ Jon Berghoff, a salesman of knives
- ‘Introverts are offered keys to private gardens full of riches. To possess such a key is to tumble like Alice down her rabbit hole. She didn’t choose to go to Wonderland – but she made of it an adventure that was fresh and very much her by own. Lewis Carroll was an introvert, too, by the way. Without him, there would be no Alice in Wonderland. And by now, this shouldn’t surprise us.’ Susan Cain
- ‘We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionately. I believe that’s what makes someone really good at selling or consulting – the number-one thing is they’ve got to really listen well.’ Jon Berghoff, a salesperson of knives
- ‘In a gentle way, you can shake the world.’ Mahatma Gandhi
- ‘For far too long, those who are naturally quiet, serious or sensitive have been overlooked. The loudest have taken over – even if they have nothing to say. It’s time for everyone to listen. It’s time to harness the power of introverts.’ Susan Cain
- ‘How you are today in the classroom is how you will be at work. I was a pleaser. If you will do anything for an A, then you will do anything for your boss.’ Justin Paperny
- ‘Madness is the exception in individuals but the rule in groups.’ Friedrich Nietzsche
- ‘When you are a teenager, or in college, you’re always re-examining your life. But when most people graduate, they stop doing that and I wonder why. Is it that it gets too draining to keep questioning your life?’ Frank Partnoy
- ‘Like all workplace gossip, the fact that everyone knows what is going on turns out to be part of the problem. Talking about the problem feels like action – but it isn’t.’ Margaret Heffernan
- ‘How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30am by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for that opportunity to do so?’ Charles Bukowski
- ‘The most difficult phase of your life is not when no one understands you. It is when you don’t understand yourself.’ Anonymous
- ‘That we will fight so hard to protect our self-esteem is a universal. It doesn’t matter how successful or wealthy people are. They all need to feel that they’re good people, even – or especially – when they’re bad.’ Margaret Heffernan
- ‘Not knowing, that’s fine. Ignorance is easy. Knowing can be hard but at least it is real, it is the truth. The worst is when you don’t want to know – because then it must be something very bad. Otherwise you wouldn’t have so much difficulty knowing.’ Gitta Sereny
- ‘All greatness in this world consists largely of mental self-control…what we call the life of a man consists simply of the stream of consciousness, of the succession of images which he allows to come before his mind…It is the power to so direct and choose our stream of consciousness as to form our character into whatever we desire.’ Irving Fisher
- ‘Anything one does every day is important and imposing and anywhere one lives is interesting and beautiful.’ Gertude Stein
- ‘Among our structurally closest analogues-the primates-the male does not fear the female. Heavy with young, making her way laboriously along, she fends for herself. He may fight to protect her or to possess her, but he does not nurture her.’ Margaret Mead
- ‘People used to look out on the playground and say that the boys were playing soccer and the girls were doing nothing. But the girls weren’t doing nothing – They were talking. They were talking about the world to one another. And they became very expert about that in a way the boys did not.’ Carol Gilligan
- ‘How do you make someone want something? You give it value. You show that others like it. You make it scarce. And you make them work for it.’ David DeAngelo.
- ‘Happiness, knowledge, not in another place, but this place, not for another hour, but this hour.’ Walt Whitman
- ‘Even the monkey, in his mother’s eyes, is an antelope.’ Arabic saying
- ‘Toothbrush theory –> everybody wants a toothbrush, everyone needs one, everyone has one, but no one wants to use anyone else’s’ Dan Ariely
- ‘The sequence in which we observe characteristics of a person is often determined by chance. Sequence matters, however, because of the halo effect increases the weight of first impressions, sometimes to the point that subsequent information is mostly wasted.’ Daniel Kahneman
- ‘The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.’ Gloria Steinem
- “‘Flow’ is a state of effortless concentration so deep that people lose their sense of time, of themselves and of their problems. It is an optimal experience.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
- “Ask yourself if you are happy and you cease to be so.” John Stuart Mill
- ‘Do I like it? Do I hate it? How strongly do I feel about it? In many domains of life, people form opinions and make choices that directly express their feelings and their basic tendency to approach or avoid, often without knowing that they are doing so.’ Paul Slovic
- ‘To the untrained eye, randomness appears as regularity or tendency to cluster.’ William Feller, a statistician.
- ‘Our mind automatically evaluates situations as being good or bad, whether to stay or to flee from it etc. In the case of meeting a stranger, how dominant, trustworthy he/she is.’
- ‘It is the consistency of the information that matters for a good story, not its completeness. Indeed, you will always find that knowing little makes it easier to fit everything you know into a coherent pattern.’ Daniel Kahneman
- ‘A person watching a two second silent video clip of a teacher he has never met will reach conclusions about how good that teacher is that are very similar to those of a student who sits in the teacher’s class for an entire semester.’ Malcolm Gladwell
- ‘A general “law of least efforts” applies to cognitive as well as physical exertion. The law asserts that if there are several ways of achieving the same goal, people will eventually gravitate to the least demanding course of action. In the economy of action, effort is a cost, and the acquisition of skill is driven by the balance of benefits and costs. Laziness is built deep into our nature’ Daniel Kahneman.
- ‘For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.’ Alfred D’ Souza
- ‘…But the truth is life is about producing failure. We only progress through a series of regulated errors. Every move is a partial failure to be corrected by the next one. Think of it as walking. You shift your weight off balance with every step, and then you throw your other leg forward to compensate.’ Peter Drucker
- ‘All of us, from cradle to grave, are happiest when life is organized as a series of excursions, long or short, from the secure base provided by our attachment figures.’ John Bowlby
- ‘The unconscious is impulsive, emotional, sensitive, and unpredictable. It has its shortcomings. It needs supervision. But it can be brilliant. It’s capable of processing blizzards of data and making daring creative leaps. Most of all, it’s all wonderfully gregarious’. (Brooks, 2011)
- ‘Dogs are really interested in humans. Interested to the point of obsession. To a dog, you are a giant walking tennis ball.’ anthropologist Brian Hare
- ‘5 ways to buy happiness: 1) Buy experiences; 2) Make it a treat; 3) Buy time; 4) Pay now, consume later (example vacations/holidays); 5) Invest in others’ from the book, Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton
- ‘Every time you do an activity, or have a thought, you are changing a piece of yourself into something slightly different than it was before. Every hour you spend with others, you become more like the people around you.’ David Brooks
- ‘To pathological gamblers, near misses looked like wins…But to a non-pathological gambler, a near miss was like a loss. People without a gambling problem were better at recognizing that a near miss means you still lose.’ Reza Habib
- ‘Humans’ weak spot: we don’t notice small, gradual changes. A magician can make your watch vanish because, when he presses on one part of your body, you don’t notice the lighter touch on your wrist as he relieves you of your Rolex.’ Rolf Dobelli
- ‘In conclusion: the typical response to scarcity is a lapse in clear thinking. Assess products and services solely on the basis of their price and benefits. It should be of no importance if an item is disappearing fast.’ Rolf Dobelli, on the scarcity error
- ‘So, if you are a salesperson, make buyers think you like them, even if this means outright flattery. And if you are a consumer, always judge a product independent of who is selling it. Banish the salespeople from your mind, or rather, pretend you don’t like them.’ Rolf Dobelli (The Art of Thinking Clearly)
- ‘Hierarchy of needs, in ascending order: 1) physiological/biological needs, 2) safety needs, 3) love, affection, and belongingness/social needs, 4) esteem, and 5) self-actualization.’ Abraham Maslow (Which level are you at? Haha)
- ‘What you master in one area is difficult to transfer to another. Especially daunting is the transfer from academia to real life – from the theoretically sound to the practically possible. Book smarts doesn’t transfer to street smarts easily.’ Rolf Dobelli (The Art of Thinking Clearly)
A bear was taken care by Christopher Robin. His name was Winnie the Pooh. Long ago, he lived in a forest all alone. He came a large oak tree with buzzing noise. Pooh thought that there were bees. As he liked honey, he started climbing the tree. As he was complaining, he suddenly fell down the tree. He landed up into a thorny bush and was pricked. After that, Pooh went to look for his friend, Christopher. He wanted a balloon. Pooh wanted to hold the balloon and disguise as a cloud to trick the bees. He was contemplating between the green and blue balloon. To make himself black, Winnie rolled in the mud. Next, Pooh called for an umbrella in preparation that it would rain. The bees were suspicious of Pooh’s actions. Pooh sang a cloud song. Suddenly, he came to the conclusion that they are the wrong sort of bees. Now, he wanted to come down. Christopher shot at the balloon and Pooh came down.
Edward bear was his real name. He came upon a hole in the ground and thought Rabbit was present. He called out into the home. A voice responded. It was Rabbit disguising to be someone else. Rabbit invited him in. After Rabbit made him breakfast, Pooh wanted to go somewhere else. However, he realized that he couldn’t get out of the hole. Pooh was stuck. Rabbit went to fetch Christopher Robin. He commented ‘Silly old bear.’ Christopher suggested that after a week, Pooh would be thinner and then he could leave the hole on his own. Rabbit promised to read to him. Pooh appeared dejected. For the next week, Christopher read to him. Rabbit and Christopher grabbed hold of Pooh and pulled. Finally Pooh was released.
Piglet lived in a grand house. Piglet saw Pooh tracking something and asked him about it. Pooh pointed to some paw-marks and thought a woozle made those marks. He wanted Piglet to follow him on his trail. The paw-marks split into two directions. They came upon another intersection of tracks, indicating that three animals could be lurking around. Then it was 4 paw marks. Piglet wanted to leave as he realized he forgot to do something. Pooh bumped into Christopher Robin and Piglet left. Winnie the Pooh fitted his paw marks on the ground and realized that they were of the same shape.
I have been Foolish and Deluded and I am a Bear of No brain at all. – Winnie the Pooh
Eeyore was in the forest. He liked to think ‘Why?’,’Wherefore’, ‘Inasmuch as which?’ Eeyore was not feeling well, he admitted. His tail was not present. Pooh decided to help Eeyore look for a tail. Pooh went to Owl for advice. Owl and Christopher Robin could spell. Owl advised him to issue a reward to the person who located Eeyore’s tail. Gradually, Pooh didn’t focus on what Owl was saying. Owl kept a bell rope which looked like a tail. Eeyore got his makeshift tail back and was very happy now.
Christopher saw a Heffalump and told Piglet and Pooh about it. Pooh wanted to catch one. Piglet happily agreed to help Pooh. Their initial plan was to dig a very deep pit. Now, they contemplated on the location of the pit. Piglet suggested using their favorite food as a bait. It was decided that honey would be used. Now, Pooh found honey in his house. Later after the trap was built, Pooh headed to the shelf and wanted honey. But it realized it wasn’t there. He couldn’t sleep because he was hungry. Pooh couldn’t take it and headed straight for the Six Pine Trees. Piglet came to him and asked how a Heffalump looked like. Piglet woke up in the middle of night to check on the trap. The jar was stuck to Pooh’s head now. Piglet spotted him now. Piglet screamed ‘Horrible Heffalump’ as he headed to Christopher’s house. Christopher broke out into laughter when he saw Pooh. Pooh smashed his head on the wall and broke free. Once again, Pooh was foolish.
Eeyore lamented that he was pathetic. He doubted that it was a good morning. Eeyore couldn’t sing and dance well. He seemed sad even when it was his birthday. As a joke, he tricked Pooh into believing that he had presents. Eeyore didn’t want others to be miserable. Pooh immediately thought of getting him a present. Pooh searched his house and wanted to give Eeyore the remaining honey. They settled with a balloon and some honey. While walking, Pooh ate Eeyore’s present. He thought of giving him the pot instead. He wanted Owl to write the words Happy birthday on it. Piglet accidentally fell on the balloon, causing it to burst. Eeyore didn’t believe that he would have a real birthday. Piglet gave Eeyore the remains of the balloon. Eeyore thanked him and admitted that red was his favorite colour. Pooh gave Eeyore the empty pot. It said ‘A Very Happy Birthday with love from Pooh’. Eeyore placed the balloon into the pot.
Out of nowhere, Kanga and Roo appeared. The kangaroo had pockets. The question was what they wanted to do with Kanga. Rabbit wanted to steal Baby Roo from him and hide it. Pooh was against this idea. The Kanga was a little fierce. Piglet was small but Rabbit thought that he would useful in their adventures. The animals devised a plan whereas piglet would jump into Kanga’s pouch with him noticing. Pooh started to distract Kanga with literature. Piglet jumped into Kanga’s pouch without his noticing. Kanga soon realized what happened but wasn’t upset because he knew no one would bother Roo. Actually Kanga thought that Piglet was Roo, except that she spoke differently. Kanga fed Piglet some medication too. Christopher Robin came in and explained the situation. Because Piglet took a bath, Christopher Robin couldn’t recognize him as well.
A Kanga was generally regarded as one of the fiercer animals. I am not frightened of fierce animals in the ordinary way, but it is well known that, if one of the fiercer animals is deprived of its young, it becomes as fierce as two of the fiercer animals. – Piglet
Pooh started singing. Christopher needed Pooh’s help to wear a boot. He wanted to visit the North Pole. Pooh told Rabbit about the expedition. Everyone was ready. They encountered a dangerous place. Christopher stopped and decided that everyone should eat their provisions. They were looking for the flag in the North Pole. Suddenly, Roo fell into the river. Roo knew how to swim. Roo managed to climb out by himself and was attention seeking. Pooh happened to be wandering around and picked up a pole. He found the North Pole. NORTH POLE. DISCOVERED BY POOH. POOH FOUND IT. Eeyore was happy as Christopher dried his tail.
It don’t do the thistles any good, you know, by sitting on them. Takes all the life out of them. Remember that another time, all of you. A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference. – Christopher Robin
It kept raining on days on end. Piglet thought the rain was awful. He was concerned that the water would enter his house. He wrote the words “Help” on paper and placed it in an empty bottle. Piglet threw the bottle in the water. Pooh dreamt of discovering the East Pole on his own. Suddenly, as his honey was running out, he fell into the water and saw the bottle. Pooh thought he could float if he sat on an empty jar. It worked and he could float. Christopher’s island was surrounded by water. Pooh couldn’t read and brought the message in the bottle to Christopher. Piglet needed rescuing. Pooh suddenly suggesting that they all might travel in an umbrella. It was brilliant. Piglet was overjoyed when he saw the umbrella heading towards him.
Pooh hasn’t much brain, but he never comes to any harm. He does silly things and they turn out right. There’s Owl. Owl hasn’t exactly got brain, but he knows things. He would know the right thing to do when surrounded by water. There’s rabbit. He hasn’t learnt in books, but he can always think of a clever plan. There’s Kanga. She isn’t clever, but she would be so anxious about Roo that she would do a good thing to do without thinking about it. And then there’s Eeyore. And Eeyore is so miserable anyhow that he wouldn’t mind about this… – Piglet
It was sunny and the weather was great. Christopher was going to throw a party. Owl’s job was to inform the rest. Everyone was involved. The party was for Pooh and Christopher bought him a present. It was a special pencil case. Everyone thanked Christopher for it.
Please read the sequel ‘The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne’
The technique of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) will help you live life fully. It can help to reduce stress and worry plus handle painful feelings. This book will guide you on how to pursue happiness.
People are now caught in a psychological trap. The more you seek happiness, the more it might elude you. ACT has helped many people so far. Modern society and a higher standard of living doesn’t seem to have people happy. 10% of people have suffered from clinical depression. In the past, people just avoided getting killed. Now, we spend a lot of worrying about other stuff. We like to compare ourselves with others and like to fit in to groups. The human appetite is insatiable. The moment you have something, you want more again. The common definition of happiness is of feeling good. The other definition is ‘living a rich, full, and meaningful life.’ The reality is, life involves pain. There’s no getting away from it. Learn to live a rich and meaningful life and happiness will come to you. Savor your journey.
Myth 1: Happiness is the natural state for all human beings. It is rare and it is incorrect to assume that you are naturally happy. Myth 2: If You’re not Happy, You’re Defective. Myth 3: To Create a Better Life, We Must Get Rid of Negative Feelings. It is okay to feel stress, challenge sometimes etc. Myth 4: You Should be Able to Control What You Think and Feel. We have a larger control our actions than our thoughts and feelings. The Illusion of Control. We have, in fact, very little control of the internal world. One has lesser control over thoughts and feelings. Men like to bottle up their feelings. Some people don’t like to reveal their feelings as they don’t want to be judged by others.
Trying to get all the negative emotions away can be a bad thing. If you are an introvert and fear human interaction, the more you sit quietly and do nothing, the more you will gradually fear human interaction. Although, in the same term, you might be less fearful. Tackle problems immediately and do not allow it to fester or worsen. The two common control strategies are: fight or flight. Flight à Escaping/Distraction/Zoning Out (Alcohol etc). Fight à Suppression/Arguing/Taking Charge/Self-Bully. They don’t work all the time. They become problematic if you use them excessively, in situations where they can’t work and if it stops you from doing things you value. Grief is a normal feeling. For some of us, we refuse to accept feelings of grief. For the not so important things in life, controlling them using the techniques above are easier. The primary motivation matters too. It should not be to get rid of bad thoughts and feelings only. Self-awareness is the key.
So here is the happiness trap in a nutshell: to find happiness, we try to avoid or get rid of bad feelings, but the harder we try, the more bad feelings we create. – Russ Harris
What do you cherish most in life? Health? Work? Family? Friends? Religion? Sports? Nature? It’s no surprise that life is richer and more fulfilling when we actively invest our time and energy in the things that are most important or meaningful to us. – Russ Harris
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. (1) Delusion: lose ability to frighten, disturb, worry, stress, or depress you. (2) Expansion: Make room for unpleasant feelings. (3) Connection: Connect with the present moment. (4) The Observing Self. (5) Values: Clarify and connect with your values. (6) Committed Actions. Mindfulness is a mental state of awareness, openness and focus. Mindfulness + Values + Action = Psychological Flexibility.
We think that we must give full attention to our thoughts. Fusion means the story and the event become stuck together. We like to think thoughts are reality and the truth. Add the words ‘I’m having the thought that XXX’. Distance yourself from the thought and it is less likely you will think it’s true anymore. This is known as defusion. Another way is to think of music. Most of them have negative content. Learn to defuse them so that they won’t affect you. Give the particular thought structure a name too. 1) Having the Thought That…2) Musical Thoughts…3) Naming the Story. When you are depressed, your mind will start thinking of stories too.
The mind loves telling stories; in fact, it never stops. All day, every day, it tells you stories about what you should be doing with your life, what other people think of you, what will happen in the future, what went wrong in the past, and so on. It’s like a radio that never stop broadcasting. – Russ Harris
Figure out whether the thought is giving you good advice. If it is not, defuse it. If the thought can improve your life, then it is worth listening to. All beliefs are stories. Most of the time, you can’t choose the thoughts in your head. Learn to start thanking your mind. You could imagine a cartoon character speaking your thought aloud. Thoughts are largely a string of words. Pay attention to thoughts which will help you.
What if defusion still makes you anxious? Defusion is an acceptance strategy. You have to truly accept the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Acceptance means embracing life. Accepting means being fully accepting of the reality of your situation. Defusion is an acceptance technique. The negative thoughts won’t go away and you must gradually learn to accept them.
It’s important to let go of any expectations that your stories will go away or show up less frequently. As it happens, very often they will go away. But if you’re defusing them to make them go away, then by definition you’re not truly accepting them. And you know where that leads. – Russ Harris
The bottom line is not whether a thought is positive or negative, true or false, pleasant or unpleasant, optimistic or pessimistic, but whether it helps you create a fulfilling life. – Russ Harris
Recognize your thinking self and observing self. Learn to treat your thoughts as simply background noise. If the thoughts is useful, pay attention to it. If not, accept and then ignore it. To concentrate on your observing self, use ten deep breaths. During this process, when you get hooked on a thought, unhook yourself and concentrate on breathing again.
Our thinking self is a bit like a radio, constantly playing in the background. Most of the time it’s the Radio Doom and Gloom show, broadcasting negative stories 24 hours a day. It reminds us of bad things from the past, it warns us of bad things to come in the future, and it gives us regular updates on everything that’s wrong with us…Unfortunately, there’s no way to switch off this radio. Even Zen masters are unable to achieve such a feat. – Russ Harris
The demons can’t kill you. They are powerless to stop you. The demons will try to stop you. There is a lot more to life than the demons.
How would I act differently if painful thoughts and feelings were no longer an obstacle? What projects or activities would I start if my time and energy weren’t consumed by troublesome emotions? What would I do if fear were no longer an issue? What would I attempt if thoughts of failure didn’t deter me? – Russ Harris
What are emotions? Emotions cause us to take action. It tends to enable us to take action. Do emotions control our behavior? No it doesn’t! Anxious speakers can learn to act calm during public speaking. Emotions are like the weather. They ebb and flow.
Although you don’t have much direct control over your feelings, you can directly control your actions. This realization will have important practical applications later because when it comes to making important changes in your life, it’s far more useful to focus on what you can control rather than on what you can’t. – Russ Harris
In quicksand, your emotions will tell you to struggle. But you mustn’t. Turn off the struggle switch if needed.
Our brain loves to gossip and loves stories. Think about your programming as a child. Why am I like this? I can’t handle it! I shouldn’t feel like this! I wish I didn’t feel like this! React by saying ‘Thanks Mind, but I’m not playing today.’ Your observing self is more powerful than your thinking self
Learn the term ‘expansion’. Expansion means making room for our feelings. Accommodate them. The thinking self never shuts up. Practice deep breathing.
Accepting discomfort has only one purpose: to help you take your life forward in a meaningful direction. Thus, in bringing up some discomfort in order to practice expansion, you are learning a valuable skill for transforming your life. – Russ Harris
It is not easy to practice expansion. It is difficult, but like any other skill, you will get better with practice. When your mind is overwhelming, say Thanks Mind. Acceptance comes first before fun activities. Accept your thoughts and feelings. Connect with your values. Take effective action
Values are important because they can guide you and motivate you through situations where your feelings might lead you off course. Acting in accordance with your own deepest values is inherently satisfying and fulfilling – even though it often forces you to face your fears. – Russ Harris
Emotions prime your body to take action. Some urges can be very strong. If the urge is not consistent with who you are, then don’t act on it. Check with your values. Make room for your urges. Like a wave, the urge will grow in size and then gradually subside. You can’t act on your urges.
Therefore, once you are aware of an urge, you need to ask yourself, “If I act on this urge, will I be acting like the person I want to be? Will it help take my life in the direction I want to go? – Russ Harris
There is only one time that is important: NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. – Leo Tolstoy
The observing self is incapable of boredom. It registers everything it observes with openness and interest. It’s only the thinking self that gets bored, because boredom is basically a thought process: a story that life would be more interesting and more fulfilling if we were doing something else. The thinking self is easily bored because it thinks it already knows it all. – Russ Harris
Sad scenarios are common. Do not focus on unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Connect with happy moments. Connection with pleasant experiences. It can be a simple activity. Pretend that it’s your first time ever doing it. The author had to wash the dirty dog when he had other important tasks to do. Connect with your experience and make the most of it. Do not judge. Connect with the mundane tasks in life if they enhance your life in the long term. Pick a chore and have no expectations. Connect with a task you’ve been avoiding.
Many people fail to make important changes – changes that could significantly enhance their lives – because they’re unwilling to accept the discomfort that accompanies change. For example, you may avoid changing to a more meaningful career because you don’t want the discomfort of starting from scratch. Or you may avoid asking someone on a date because you don’t want to risk rejection. – Russ Harris
It’s time to take a detour. Mindfulness means being aware of your experience, be open, receptive etc. It is a conscious process. It is about awareness. Bring your awareness to the present moment.
We let our judgments, complaints, and criticisms come and go like passing cars, and we fully engage in the present moment. When we are mindful of our own thoughts, we can see them for what they are and let them go. When we are mindful of our feelings, we can make room for them and let them be. And when we are mindful of our here-and-now experience, we are deeply connected with it. – Russ Harris
When people are stressed, they might hyperventilate. Learn to practice deep breathing. Breathing can be a good control strategy. You can practice it anytime of the day too. It can allow you more time to make better decisions etc. Learn to recognize your brain when it is judging. Give factual descriptions, not judgmental ones.
What do you most dislike about yourself? If you think too much, then you will likely have low self-esteem. Using of positive affirmations won’t help that much too. Sometimes, just step out of the battle. Let go of judging yourself. You don’t need high self-esteem to succeed. However, most people with high self-esteem lead into other problems. Take action in line with your values. Recognize fully your strengths and weaknesses.
Society teaches us that thinking is almighty. The book recommends an exercise for you. The observing self is crucial for self-awareness. It never changes no matter what role you think. It is a viewpoint. It simply notices things. It is always there, but you need to access it. It is forever unchanging. It is the source of true acceptance. What makes you? Use defusion, expansion and connection to overcome obstacles.
Values and goals are different. Values are always better. The author mentions about Viktor Frankl’s struggle in the concentration camp. The ones who survived were not the fittest, but the most connected to life. Values make life worth living. Values help us overcome challenges. If you value nature, then it is worth the effort to organize a trip.
We go through life following the same routine, day after day. But in order to create a rich, full, and meaningful life, we need to stop to reflect on what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. – Russ Harris
When you go through life guided by your values, not only do you gain a sense of vitality and joyfulness, but you also experience that life can be rich, full, and meaningful, even when bad things happen. – Russ Harris
Living life by your values is a good example of how we can fulfilment in any job, even one we don’t want, by bringing our values into the workplace. That way, even while we search or train for a better job, we can find satisfaction within the one we have. – Russ Harris
What do you really want? What do you want to stand for in life? What sort of personal qualities do you want to cultivate? How do you want to be toward others? There are 4 domains 1. Relationships 2. Work/Education 3. Leisure 4. Personal Growth/Health. Feelings are not values. The best way to influence people are through your actions. Treat others as you’d like them to treat you. You can make your job more meaningful by bringing in your values. It is normal to lose touch with your values sometimes. However, the sooner you connect with them the better. Reflect on your answers and your life.
Do not lead someone else’s life. Which values would you choose? ‘I’m just setting myself up for disappointment’ demon. ‘I can’t be bothered right now; I’ll do it later’ demon. ‘But my values conflict with each other’ demon. Find the best balance you can. Act on that value. Sometimes, you will have to focus more time on a certain domain.
If you could somehow listen in your own funeral and the people you most care about were there, what sort of things would you love to hear them say about you? What would you like them to think about the role you played in their lives? – Russ Harris
Now, that you know your values, it’s time to take action. Actions MUST reflect your values. Family; Marriage and other intimate relationships; friendships; employment; education and personal development; Recreation, fun, and leisure; Spirituality; Community Life; Environment and nature; Health and Body. Set meaningful goals. It is very important to write it down. Set an immediate goal. Start with the easy ones. Set short term goals and be specific about it. Set some medium range goals. Set long term goals. Imagine yourself taking effective action. Keep rehearsing, Write an action plan too. Write down your values, your goals, and your action plans. It is not the most important thing to reach the shore, but it is more important to be sailing toward shore.
In the Western world, life is about status and achievement. Sometimes we get so caught up with earning money. When we pursue meaningful goals, life is a lot more rewarding. Appreciate the JOURNEY. For example, a value when deciding to purchase a house could be to provide security for my family. Being rich is a goal. Do the things you like now. Keep asking yourself ‘What’s this goal in the service of? What will it enable me to do that’s truly meaningful?’ Do not walk around with a mask. Do not keep thinking you’re not good enough. Start with short term goals. Get down to your core values. Be more loving and caring towards others. Your values are always with you.
Practice your mindfulness skills whenever you can. Pay attention to the rain, your food etc. Tiny goals can bring great satisfaction too. It’s all about connection. Don’t get too attached to pleasant feelings. They won’t stay forever. The more you apply mindfulness, the strong, calmer and wiser you will become.
Life gives most to those who make the most of what life gives. – Russ Harris
Fusion, Excessive expectations, Avoidance of discomfort, Remoteness from values. Use your defusion skills. Break down your goal into smaller chunks, Then go ahead and do it. ‘What’s the next small, easy step that would bring me a little bit closer to my goal?. Learn the skills that is necessary to achieve your goal. Practice your expansion skills and make room for your new skills. Set and make room for your new goals in life. Connect with your values on a regular basis. Write them down and re-read them on a regular basis. The mind is very good at coming up with reasons for not doing the things we really want to do. Reasons are just thoughts. Thoughts don’t control behavior. Thoughts have the least influence when you defuse them. Being tired is not an excuse for not running. Reasons are excuses. Always turn to your values for help.
Don’t keep putting off important tasks. Willingness doesn’t mean you like, want, enjoy, desire, or approve of something. Willingness means you’ll allow it, make room for it, or let it be in order to do something that you value. Say yes to obstacles and you will learn to overcome them. Practice expansion and defusion. It’s either you are willing or not. There is no in between. You need to take the pain and accept it. My goal is to… The values underlying my goal are… The thoughts feelings, sensations, and urges I’m willing to have in order to achieve this goal are… It would be useful to remind myself that… I can break this goal down into smaller steps, such as…
From time to time, you will fall and hurt yourself. However, please pick yourself up. Commitment means that you will pick yourself up when you fall. Be willing to endure hardship etc. Success in life means living by your values. Do not dwell on your past. Try something different if something isn’t working. Adopt an optimistic outlook of life. Life involves pain sometimes.
Such is the nature of commitment: you can never know in advance whether you will achieve your goals; all you can do is keep moving forward in a valued direction. The future is not in your control. What is in your control is your ability to continue your journey, step by step, learning and growing etc. – Russ Harris
This is the last chapter of the book. Defusion (Recognizing thoughts, images and memories for what they are and do not fight them). Expansion (Make room for feelings, sensations and urges). Connection (Connect with your present experience and engage yourself fully in whatever you’re doing). The Observing Self (It is unchanging and ever-present and is the key to self-awareness). Values (What sort of person you want to be, what is meaningful to you). Committed Action (Take effective action in line with your values).
They are: 1) Words of Affirmation; 2) Quality Time; 3) Receiving Gifts; 4) Acts of Service; 5) Physical Touch
A guy lamented that love evaporated after his 3 marriages. The first wife gave too much attention on the baby and not him. The last wife complained that he did not do the small acts of service, like clearing the garbage. She turned negative and everything went downhill. It is easy to obtain advice on the web. These forms of advice are helpful but the truth is that people speak different love languages. Communication is best with the same primary or secondary languages. Being sincere is not enough. The key is to learn about your spouse’s primary love language. There may be dialects, but there are only 5 key love languages.
Love is a central role in life. The need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. Children need love and affection, and the sense that he or she belongs and is wanted. Fill your love tank so that your children won’t misbehave. There is a case about a girl who went astray because her parents didn’t provide any love. Material things do not replace love. Solitary confinement is a cruel punishment. Intimacy, love are key components of marriage. However, love can be elusive sometimes. People behave differently when their love tanks are full.
Most people enter marriage this way. We hit the in-love experience. Usually, we find that the level of intensity will increase after a few dates. Then, we guess that it’s the real thing. It can be a euphoric feeling. But love is blind sometimes and you will think the other party is perfect. We believe love will last forever and that it can conquer all. According to research, such in-love experience lasts only 2 years. After that, we can see the other party’s flaws clearly. Marriage is whole different ball game. The problem is faulty information. Never have the impression that in the in-love obsession will last forever. When you are in love, everything else seems irrelevant. By nature, all humans are egocentric. By after a while, people will say what they honestly want to. Intimacy may evaporate after a while. Couples need to love each other after this phase. Love requires discipline and energy. Expend energy to benefit the other person. Learn to speak the same appropriate love languages.
Gift 1: Use words that build up. ‘An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a wind word cheers him up.’ Use compliments on someone’s attire. Show gratitude. When someone does something good, give a verbal compliment in the correct tone. Use encouraging words to inspire courage. Do not pressurize the person, but encourage the person to pursue their interests. Learn to empathize too. Use kind words. Watch the tone. Do not bring up the past unnecessarily. Forget the past and move on. Use humble words. Know each others’ desires and their wants. When you make a request, use the right words. Make requests, not demands. The deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Learn to record good words to use. The use of indirect words of affirmation will also help – say positive things about your spouse to other people. Write down the positive aspects of your spouse.
None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the best or right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. – Gary Chapman
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires. – Gary Chapman
Gift 2: Sometimes, people want quality time with the other party. Give your undivided attention and start chatting. Look at each other. Look at your spouse in the eye. Make time for the other person. Write down the type of activities she likes to do. You can keep your spouse’s love fuel tank full by spending time together. Focus Attention and do not multitask. Have quality conversations with one another. Share your experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires. Listening is a big part of quality conversation. Sometimes people don’t need advice, they just want to feel understood. Most people do not listen well but speak better. Maintain eye contact; do not multi-task; listen for feelings; observe body language; refuse to interrupt. If your spouse’s love language is quality time, you must reveal your thoughts and feelings. Do not deny our feelings, rather, learn to express them. Establish a daily sharing time. Engage in quality activities together. Do things together and give each other undivided attention. The purpose is to experience something together. It also provides a memory bank. It is definitely worth the time.
Gift 3: The author discovered that based on history, gift giving was a part of the love-marriage process. Gift giving transcends cultural barriers. The gift is a symbol of the thought of that other person. It doesn’t matter if the gift costs money. Gift giving is fundamental to love. They are visual symbols. They may be purchased, found or made. There is no need to wait for a special occasion before giving someone a gift. The gift of self. Be there when it matters. This is the gift of presence. Be there when people need you most. Let nature be your guide. Learn to hand-make gifts.
Gifts need not be expensive, nor must they be given weekly. But for some individuals, their worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love. – Gary Chapman
Gift 4: Doing the things you know your spouse will like you to do. Cook a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, paying the bills etc. Learn to do the chores in life. Don’t demand, but rather, learn to request. Make a list of things to do. Usually after marriage, behavior will change. Love is a choice and cannot be coerced. Listen to criticisms as it could indicate what the love language of your spouse is. Criticism often needs clarification. Are you a doormat or a lover? Do not treat each other like object. Do not use manipulation or coercion. Try to ignore stereotypes and the effects it has on us. Learn to change stereotypes and see things differently. Little things do matter a lot.
Gift 5: This is one way of communicating emotional love. Examples are holding hands, kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse. There are sensitive receptors throughout our body. Just touching your spouse can be an expression of love. Touching each other only takes a moment. Touch your spouse in new places. The body is for touching. Be careful when touching an opposite gender when you have met for the first time. Physical touch is a powerful communicator of love. Hold her when she cries. Disappointments will happen and you need to love him or her when that happens. Crises will provide such opportunity.
You need to discover what’s your primary love language. There is usually the core one, that will be the primary one. ‘What makes you feel most loved by your spouse? What do you desire above all else?’ Without that language, would your love tank suffer? What have you most requested from your spouse? Observe your actions carefully. There are two groups of people where it will be more difficult to determine. Those groups are 1) love tanks are empty for very long; 2) Love tanks are full for very long. Tell your spouse your love tank and ask her what can she do to fill it.
Even in marriages that have difficulties, it is always easy to change it but choosing to love. Love makes the future different. Your spouse needs to know your love language to fill your tank. Learn to meet her needs everyday. There is a deep difference between falling in love and deep emotional need to be loved. There will be a point where you will be brought down to reality. The key to success is discovering each other’s primary love language and choosing to speak it frequently. You will do it for love, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself. – Gary Chapman
There are other emotional needs, like security, self-worth, significance etc. Once you receive love or love someone, most of the above are met. Once someone expresses love to you, you will feel significant. Life has meaning. Once your love needs are met, you can turn outwards.
Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security in which we can seek answers to those things that bother us. – Gary Chapman
Is it possible to love someone whom you hate? Criticism and condemnation can kill any marriage. The answer is that it is possible. Keep the faith. Even if you speak the other person’s love language, will it work? A counselor cannot predict behavior with absolute certainty. It is a choice to perform loving acts to someone you hate.
Keep your love tanks full. Meet the emotional need for love. Once both parties are on an empty emotional love tank, it spells trouble. To find out what the other party’s love language is, ask the following: 1) How does he most often express love to others? 2) What does he complain about most often?
Winnie the Pooh has magical adventures in the forest. This book summarizes some of the best adventures Pooh has in the forests.
Pooh visited Piglet’s house. However he was not in and Pooh went on a fast Thinking Walk. Pooh was planning to sing a song to Eeyore when Piglet appeared. It was snowing very heavily. They were contemplating on whether to practice the song. This song was about the snow and had to be practiced in the cold. Now, the both of them headed to Eeyore’s house. Christopher Robin, Owl, Kanga and Rabbit all have houses, except Eeyore. Pooh contemplated building one for him. It was to be called Pooh Corner. They started fetching sticks to build the Corner. Eeyore was suffering from the cold and he didn’t anyone will save him. The donkey was a sad creature. They all met. Eeyore’s house was covered with snow and it disappeared. He claimed that his house was blown away. However, Pooh later brought Eeyore to a warmer location and his house was still present.
Pooh had a honey-cupboard at home. A weird noise was appearing outside his house. The stranger introduced himself as Tigger. Pooh was hospitable towards him. Tigger thought he saw someone like him when he looked in the mirror. Tigger was new to the environment and didn’t like honey. Tigger preferred haycorns that Piglet had instead. Now, after trying it, Tigger didn’t like haycorns too. Tigger was being introduced to Eeyore as well. Eeyore was a gloomy character who allowed Tigger to eat his thistles. However, Tigger admitted he didn’t like it. Now, Pooh brought Tigger to meet Christopher so that he could have breakfast. Tigger liked to bounce when he walked. They reached Kanga’s house. Kanga made his breakfast. Roo made Tigger take his medication and he realized that was what he liked. Tigger was very fond of extract of malt and often frequented Kanga’s house. The medicine helped to strengthen Tigger too.
The Rabbit visited Pooh’s home. Rabbit was looking for Small, one of his friends. Rabbit and Pooh went to search for Small. Pooh wanted to look for Piglet too. He came up with an order in which he would follow. Pooh stepped into a hole in the forest and fell. Bother filled his mind now. Pooh fell on Piglet actually. They were in a Pit now. They fell into a trap for Heffalumps, which they had set themselves. Pooh was optimistic that they would be rescued from the Pit. Piglet thought he could handle the situation better and wished Pooh wasn’t there. Heffalump came and chatted with them, before leaving. They still couldn’t find Small in the Forest. Rabbit was starting to get worried over Small. Christopher began to realize that Pooh was missing too. He later found them in the Pit. Piglet thought the Christopher who rescued them was an impostor. He was thinking too much. Later, Small climbed Pooh’s back and got rescued too.
Pooh wanted to visit both Owl and Eeyore. Pooh liked Rabbit for his use of short words, unlike Owl. He kept thinking about who should he visit. Piglet was planting haycorn. When Tigger bounced, he would also end up flicking sand at the other animals. Now, Pooh and Piglet went to visit Kanga, Roo and Tigger. Tigger liked to exaggerate the power of fellow tiggers and the powers they could do. He boasted that he could climb trees better than Pooh. He tried but realized he couldn’t. Tigger and Roo were calling for help from the branch in a tree. Christopher and Eeyore came along as well. Piglet had lofty ideas about how to rescue Tigger and Roo. Roo jumped before Tigger too. Tigger was afraid of heights.
I’m not saying there won’t be an Accident now, mind you. They’re funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you’re having them. – Eeyore
Rabbit thought he was the most capable for helping Christopher Robin. He knocked on Christopher’s door. He saw a note on the ground that mentioned Christopher was out. Owl explained that Christopher went out with Backson but didn’t know what a Backson was. Rabbit met Pooh, who was singing. The animals started to realize that Christopher was not present in the mornings. They all wondered where he went. Now, piglet met Eeyore, the donkey. They saw sticks being placed on the ground. It formed the letter A. The Rabbit came to the scene as well. Eeyore mentioned that Christopher liked to learn in the mornings. The next mornings, the message on Christopher’s door read ‘Gone out. Back Soon.’
The animals came across a bridge where piglet and Roo were too small to cross. Pooh saw some fir-cones on the floor. Accidentally, it fell into the river. Now, Pooh kept dropping fir-cones in the river. Pooh invented a game called Poohsticks which was played using sticks. . Poohsticks was played using sticks. It was to see whose stick would emerge first after being thrown into the river. Eeyore emerged from under the bridge. He was waiting for someone to help him out of the river. The animals thought of a strategy to rescue Eeyore. Pooh carried a big stone and wanted to throw it down. Pooh dropped the stone. Tigger bounced behind Eeyore. Tigger denied that he bounced Eeyore into the river. The animals were not sure who to believe and turned to Christopher Robin for advice. He thought that they should stop worrying and that everyone should play Poohsticks.
Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it. – A.A. Milne
Piglet and Rabbit wanted to think of a plan to unbounce Tigger. Tigger would not feel sad for long. Rabbit tried to persuade to go explore with them. They started their exploration trip. Suddenly it got misty and Tigger disappeared. Suddenly, Tiger appeared in front of their eyes. The three animals were kind of lost due to the mist and were deciding on which direction to take to reach home. Tigger miraculously met Roo and returned to Christopher Robin’s house. Now, piglet, pooh and Rabbit were lost. Rabbit suggested a direction for them to follow. Pooh believe he could hear his honey pots calling out to him. After walking, Pooh heard Christopher Robin. Christopher accompanied piglet and pooh to pooh’s place. It was Tigger who found the missing Rabbit. Tigger was friendly, grand and helpful in that instance.
Well, we keep looking for Home and not finding it, so I thought that if we looked for this pit, we’d be sure not to find it, which would be a good thing, because then we might find something that we weren’t looking for, which might be just what we were looking for, really. – Winnie the Pooh
Let’s go and see everybody. Because when you’ve been walking in the wind for miles, and you suddenly go into somebody’s house. It’s what I call a Friendly Day. – Pooh
Pooh didn’t need to have a reason to visit others. The wind was extremely strong but they persevered. They lamented that Rabbit didn’t understand anything. Eeyore was happy that Pooh came to visit him. Now, they were heading to Owl’s place. Owl invited Pooh and Piglet into his home. Suddenly, Owl’s house was giving way. Pooh fell in an awkward position. Owl accused Pooh of damaging his house. Pooh was hurting from the fall but thought of a plan for freeing himself. He thought of a pulley system where Owl would pull Piglet up. Piglet went up and managed to squeeze through the slot at the top of the letterbox. Piglet went out to seek help from others.
Now, Pooh wanted to find a new place for Owl. Pooh sang a song for Piglet’s courage and bravery. Rabbit encourage Eeyore to go see his friends instead. The animals helped move Owl’s belongings. Owl wanted to call his new house ‘The Wolery’. Eeyore found a house for Owl. Piglet was delighted. Piglet wanted to live with Pooh if his house was blown down.
Christopher was going away. The animals met for a resolution. The animals wrote a farewell note for Christopher. The animals would take the rissolution to Christopher. Pooh, Piglet, Owl, Eeyore, Rabbit, Kanga, Blot and Smudge signed. They were upset that he was leaving. Christopher asked Pooh what he liked to do best. Christopher knighted Pooh eventually.
Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called. – Winnie the Pooh
What I like doing best is Nothing. Well, it’s when people call out at you just as you’re going off to do it. What are you going to do, and you say, Oh, nothing, and then you go and do it. – Christopher Robin
When the author was six, he read about a boa constrictor swallowing a wild beast. He illustrated it, and people thought it looked like a hat. However, when he showed them that there was an elephant inside in the boa constrictor, adults were not impressed. They discouraged him from taking up art as a career. The author eventually became a pilot. Since then, he had a bad opinion of adults as they appeared to pass judgments. Grown-ups are very serious people.
Once the author crash landed in the Sahara, he had to repair the plane’s engine himself. It was a life and death situation as there was only water for 8 days. He met a little prince in his dreams, who requested that the author draw him a sheep. After a few attempts at drawing, the author finally drew a crate, where the sheep was inside. The little prince liked how abstract the concept was.
The little prince was intrigued that the author crashed from the sky in a plane. The author tried to probe where the little prince was from. In the little prince’s world, everything was very small. The little prince didn’t like the idea of tying up the sheep. The prince lived in a very small planet. Grown-ups love to judge others by their appearance and the better dressed you were, the more people would be willing to listen to you. Grown-ups like numbers and details and tended to judge things by their value in monetary terms. The little prince came from Asteroid B-612. The author valued the value of friendship. Grown-ups find it hard to visualize.
The little prince thought that sheep could eat baobabs. In reality, they were too tall for sheep to eat it. He wanted them to eat it as they were considered bad plants, where they should be extracted when young before they became too tall. Be disciplined and pull up the baobabs regularly. Do not let them grow to too large a size or your planet will be destroyed. The author drew a picture of the baobab. The little prince boasted that in his planet, he could view 44 sunsets at a time. He liked sunsets a lot and longed for them as they made him feel better.
The little prince asked whether sheep ate flowers with thorns. The author replied yes. Thorns are no good and it is just a flower’s expression of being mean. The little prince was terribly annoyed that the author was being so serious and didn’t care about how useful the thorn could be to a flower. The little prince saw the thorns as a form of protection against external threats. The author consoled the little prince and stopped fixing his plane. He wanted to draw a muzzle for the prince’s sheep so that the sheep won’t be able to eat the flower.
The little prince took care of a flower in his own planet by watering it. The flower developed thorns after a while. The little prince was not concerned and neglected the flower. Eventually, he came to know of how to love her.
The little prince wanted to leave the planet. However, he stayed to protect his planet first before he left. He uprooted the baobab shoots, watered his flower and raked out the active volcanoes. The flower encouraged the little prince to be happy. The flower knew that she could take care of yourself and didn’t need the little prince’s help or to be placed under glass.
The little prince visited other planets after he left his own. He came upon a planet with an authoritative king. To the king, everyone was his subject. The king liked to order others around. However, yet he was kind. The king ruled over everything. It was a universal monarch. The king only gave reasonable orders and would only grant the little prince’s wish of a sunset when the time was right. The king wanted the little prince to be the minister of justice. He wanted the little prince to pass judgment on himself, rather than others. The little prince left the planet. Reflecting on his encounter with the king, the little prince thought that the king was weird.
The little prince met a very vain man at the second planet. To this man, everyone was his admirer. The man instructed the prince to clap and after he clapped, the man gave him a tip. Even though he was the only one on the planet, he wanted praise and acknowledgement from the little prince. The man thought he was the most handsome, best-dressed, most intelligent and richest man on the planet.
In the third planet, the little prince met a drunkard who was drinking to forget his sense of shame of drinking.
In the fourth planet, he came upon a businessman. The businessman was too busy calculating his figures and ignored the little prince, claiming he was trivial and unimportant. He was disturbed by a beetle, rheumatism and the little prince in his life. Due to the lack of exercise owing to his busy schedule, the businessman contracted rheumatism. The businessman owned the stars, claiming he was the first man to think of this idea. To the businessman, he would count the stars and write the figure down on a piece of paper. The little prince commented that the businessman was of no use for his stars.
In the fifth planet, the little prince met a lamplighter and a street lamp. The lamplighter could light up or extinguish the street lamp. The lamplighter claimed he was following orders to light up the lamp in the evening and extinguishing it in the morning. As the world was turning faster, the lamplighter had less free time to pursue his other interests. A solution would be to walk fast to ensure it remained in daylight so that the lamplighter could do other things. However, he didn’t have the chance to rest. This planet was blessed with a lot of sunsets due to it spinning very quickly. Of all the people he met, the little prince respected the lamplighter the most. The little prince felt that his work had meaning.
In the sixth planet, he met an old gentlemen who wrote enormous book. The old man was a geographer. The little prince was impressed with his occupation. The old man couldn’t admit whether there were oceans, rivers etc on his planet as he was not an explorer. The old man didn’t trust explorers who were drunk and even the good ones were questioned morally. Good explorers needed to provide evidence before the old man would accept what was said. The old man didn’t recognize the flower as part of geography he should record as it was short-lived. He advised the little prince to visit planet Earth.
In the seventh planet, the little prince landed on Earth. There were 2 billion grown-ups on earth. Lamplighters were hard at work before the invention of electricity. The little prince was impressed by the lamplighters and their hard work and dedication.
Grown-ups think they are very important. The little prince met a snake on planet Earth, in a desert in Africa. He was wondering where all the people were. The snake took pity on the little prince and let him off, without poisoning him
Across the desert, the little prince came upon a flower with 3 petals. He asked the flower where the people were and the flower replied that people are on the move and are never still. This particular flower felt neglected for humans didn’t stop to tend to him.
The little prince climbed a high mountain, hoping to see people from afar. However, he found none of them. After hearing his own echo, he thought Earth was a very lonely place.
The little prince finally found a road where he saw many of the same flowers that existed on his planet. Initially, he felt that his flower would not like the fact to learn that there were many similar ones. He felt honored that he had owned just one flower.
People where you live grow five thousand roses in one garden…yet they don’t find what they’re looking for…and yet what they’re looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water…But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart. – The Little Prince
The little prince came upon a fox. The fox commented that people loved to hunt and raise chickens. The fox explained that unless a relationship be developed between the both of them, they wouldn’t need each other. The little prince claimed that the flower tamed him. The fox was disappointed with his life as he had not made any connection with anyone. The fox begged the prince to tame him. The fox suggested that the little prince sit in the grass every day and with each passing day, he should advance slightly closer to the fox. Also, the fox encouraged the little prince to return at the same time every day so as to seem predictable. Language is the source of misunderstandings. The little prince looked at his rose and appreciated the beauty of it. The fox said this to the little prince ‘One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.’ The little prince became responsible for his rose.
That’s right. For me you’re only a little boy just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you have no need of me, either. For you I’m only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we’ll need each other. You’ll be the only boy in the world for me. I’ll be the only fox in the world for you. – The Fox in the book, The Little Prince
The little prince met a railway switchman. He was surprised at the speed at which people travelled and appreciated the beauty of being a child.
People start out in express trains, but they no longer know what they’re looking for. Then they get all excited and rush around in circles…It’s not worth the trouble… – The Little Prince
The little prince met a salesclerk who sold pills to quench thirst so that people could save time from drinking water. He didn’t understand why people did that.
The eight days were up and there was no more water for the author left. He was going to die of thirst. The little prince commented that the stars were beautiful. The author was very appreciative of nature around him, like the desert and the stars. Both the author and the little prince decided to look for a well. The next morning, he found the well.
They started tugging at the rope attached to the pulley. Finally when they both got to sip from the well, they appreciated the beauty of their long and arduous walk together. They claimed that people need to look with their heart rather than with their eyes. The author drew a muzzle for the little prince’s sheep. Be responsible for those you have tamed. The little prince had been on Earth for one anniversary (year) and it was time to go.
At night, you’ll look up at the stars. It’s too small, where I live, for me to show you where my star is. It’s better that way. My star will be…one of the stars, for you. So you’ll like looking at all of them. They’ll all be your friends. – The Little Prince
People have stars, but they aren’t the same. For travelers, the stars are guides. For other people, they’re nothing but tiny lights. And for still others, for scholars, they’re problems. For my businessman, they were gold. But all those stars are silent stars. You, though, you’ll have stars like nobody else. – The Little Prince
The little prince was sitting on top of the wall. He appeared to be talking to someone. At the bottom of the wall, there was a snake. As the author approached, the snake slithered away. The little prince was heading back to his planet today. The author was touched and longed for his presence. As a parting note, the little prince imagined what the author will feel when he looked up to the stars. His author would be able to enjoy a laugh once he glanced up at the stars, as it would remind him of the little prince. Due his last moment on earth, the little prince did not want the author to witness his moment of pain. The snake poisoned the little prince and he felt to the ground.
Six years have passed and people were glad that the author was alive. If the little prince forgot to keep the flower under the glass or if the sheep managed to break free of the muzzle, the laughs would turn into tears. No one would ever know whether this would really occur on the little prince’s planet. ‘And no grown-up will ever understand how such a thing could be so important!’
What I think the little prince is trying to tell me: Adults are boring, don’t know how to appreciate the arts, like to use stereotypes, culturally-insensitive, serious, calculative, judgmental, uncaring, cold, aloof, authoritative, domineering, depressed, vain, condescending, materialistic, unhealthy, lead the rat race, weird, theoretical, lonely, unfriendly, busy, aimless, clingy and stubborn. Kids are on the other hand are, creative, imaginative, well-prepared, nature-loving, caring, curious, diligent, determined, passionate, affectionate, dreamy, optimistic, interesting and receptive! I think there is certainly some truth in that. A real classic! – Marcus Chan
251. ‘No matter how independent they are, I’ve yet to meet someone who has accomplished everything in their life completely on their own. It just doesn’t work that way.’ Chris Guillebeau (A Brief Guide to World Domination)
252. ‘Get yourself some books and go into the shade while you are striking (for the rights of fellow miners). Sit down and read. Educate yourself for the coming conflicts.’ Mother Jones
253. ‘What an astonishing thing a book is. It’s a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you’re inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic.’ Carl Sagan
254. ‘If you want greatness badly enough, and are willing to make some changes in your life to cause it to happen, you too can take over the world…or do anything else you really want to do. Yes, you really can have it all. The only things you’ll need to give up are assumptions, expectations, and the comfort zone that holds you back from greatness.’ Chris Guillebeau
255. ‘If you want to know who your real friends are, starts telling your craziest idea to everyone you meet. Some people will slowly back away from you as if you really are crazy, but others will latch on to your idea and help you in any way you can. The people in the second group are your real friends.’ Chris Guillebeau
256. ‘The real secret in life is that even though you can probably have anything you want if you work hard enough, in the end it’s not all about you. You’ll be able to achieve your own important goals, but to truly go to the next level, you’ll need to do something great for the rest of the world as well.’ Chris Guillebeau
257. ‘Have you ever thought about doing something differently than you do now? Ever thought about starting a business, a blog, a website, a marathon training program, an overseas trip… or something else entirely? How about changing careers, learning a language, moving somewhere completely different?’ Chris Guillebeau
258. ‘The truth is that if you want to achieve your most significant goals, and you want to change the world for the better in the process, you really don’t need to jump through all the hoops that people hold up for you.’ Chris Guillebeau
259. ‘My response is that it doesn’t really matter which language you choose to learn, as long as you get started with one of them. If you start with Spanish, you can always switch to French, Italian, or Portuguese later. Everything you learnt will still be relevant. Even if you choose to study a language that’s more difficult for English speakers, such as Arabic or Chinese, the skills you acquire in learning an easier language will help you with the more difficult one.’ Chris Guillebeau
260. ‘What do you cherish most in life? Health? Work? Family? Friends? Religion? Sports? Nature? It’s no surprise that life is richer and more fulfilling when we actively invest our time and energy in the things that are most important or meaningful to us.’ Russ Harris (The Happiness Trap)
261. ‘Values are important because they can guide you and motivate you through situations where your feelings might lead you off course. Acting in accordance with your own deepest values is inherently satisfying and fulfilling – even though it often forces you to face your fears.’ Russ Harris (The Happiness Trap)
262. ‘The mind loves telling stories: in fact, it never stops. All day, every day, it tells you stories about what you should be doing with your life, what other people think of you, what will happen in the future, what went wrong in the past, and so on. It’s like a radio that never stops broadcasting.’ Russ Harris (The Happiness Trap)
263. ‘If you have many years’ experience, then you’ve had time to get better at what you do and develop a feeling of efficiency. It also gives you time to develop strong relationships with your coworkers and to see many examples of your work benefitting others.’ Cal Newport
264. ‘Rather than being very analytical, those who are lucky grasp opportunities as they come along – they realise life is uncertain and full of chances.’ Prof Richard Wiseman
265. ‘A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.’ Winston Churchill
266. ‘It all starts with an idea, but you can never tell where an idea will end up. Because ideas spread, they change and grow. They connect us with the world. And in a fast moving world, where good news moves at the speed of time and bad news isn’t always what it seems – because when push comes to shove, we all deserve a second chance to score.’ Extracted from The Office, an American TV series
267. ‘All you need is love. It’s more complicated than that. You need a place to live on a quiet street with a good insurance policy. You need a career, a hobby and an escape plan. You need a pet to start with. A child, eventually. And sleep, if possible. You need to make money! More Stuff! More Happiness! You need to relax. Put on an old record. Remind yourself: All you need is love.’ Unknown
268. ‘It’s hard to get any work done on the beach. We’re sabotaged by sand and seagulls, seduced by naps and novels. It’s best to work on bleak winter weekends. We burn with ambition to keep warm and create constantly to cast off loneliness. The beach is better for brief schemes, like sandcastles that stand for an afternoon, only to sink with the tide. Maybe we do work well on the beach. We just focus more on the process than the end result.’ Unknown
269. ‘Play each day like jazz. Be cool. But don’t be too smooth. Develop a sense of structure and repetition. Don’t hesitate to improvise. Listen. Let others bounce ideas off to you. Return to a satisfying theme.’ Grant Snider
270. ‘Striving to make something truly unique may lead to disappointment. But in the most mundane projects, there is still a chance for exploration. Ancient exploration can be made new by the power of imagination. Simple patterns can inspire endless fascination. The scraps of old work may bring a blizzard of ideas.’
271. ‘Read for pleasure. Submit to the power of reading. Read without inhibitions.’ Grant Snider
272. ‘Today we will abandon reason and logic and express ourselves through nonsense! We will demolish old structures in order to start afresh and create by accident and chance! Anyone can be an artist. Anything can be art. By questioning the values of the society that created us, we will free them from their confining rules!’ Grant Snider
273. ‘Let the rain surprise you. Let the rain wash away your distractions. Let the rain fall on your heels like quicksilver. Let the rain challenge your sense of fashion. The rain demands expressive dance. The rain plays rhythmic trance music. The rain brings poets and earthworms. The rain paints in drunken watercolors. I love the rain.’ Langston Hughes
274. ‘The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life.’ Jessica Hische
275. ‘Because it’s good to look forward, not back. Because we need to illuminate a path we hope or we fear humanity will take. Because the world of the future seems more enticing or more interesting than the world of today. Because we need to warn you. To encourage. To examine. To imagine.’ Neil Gaiman, explaining why authors write about worlds which don’t exist
276. ‘If we lose fiction, we lose our shared history. We lose much of what makes us human. And fiction gives us empathy: it puts us inside the minds of other people, gives us the gift of seeing the world through their eyes. Fiction is a lie that tells us true things, over and over.’ Neil Gaiman
277. ‘Most people, and particularly kids, don’t realize that they are in control of their lives and they’re the ones that are going to make the decisions and they’re the ones that are going to make it one way or the other. Usually adolescence is a time when kids feel that the world is doing it to them. Whether it’s their parents doing it to them or their teachers doing it to them or their other friends doing it to them and that they are the victim in all of this. Somewhere in here, you have to learn that you’re not the victim. But instead, you’re the one who’s doing it. That moment is sometimes a long, slow realization or sometimes it’s turning on a light switch. All of a sudden, you realize that you are the person who has control of your life.’ Jim Henson
278. ‘If you are getting married, it’s probably foolish to ask an unknowable question like, “Will this person make me happy for 50 years?” It’s probably smarter to ask, “Is this person admirable enough that I want to live my life as an offering to them?”’ David Brooks
279. One of the hard things in life is learning to ask questions that you can actually answer. For example, if you are thinking about taking a job, it’s probably foolish to ask, “What future opportunities will this lead to?” You can’t know. It’s probably better to ask, “Will going to this workplace be rewarding day to day?” which is more concrete.’ David Brooks
280. ”Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others, and makes them believe deeper, in something larger than life, then his essence, his spirit, will be immortalized.’ Ultimate Warrior, a wrestler
281. ‘You can’t change the world alone—you will need some help— and to truly get from your starting point to your destination takes friends, colleagues, the good will of strangers and a strong coxswain to guide them.’ Peter Jacobs
282. ‘The person who takes a job is likely, whether they want to or not, to get better at that job. The person who makes a habit out of going to the gym every day eventually feels ill if they abandon it. Commitment becomes habit. Success begets success. You need to make sure where you spend most of your hours is where you want the biggest growth. And then do everything you can to build that snowball.’ Mark Manson
283. ‘We’re naturally biased towards wishful thinking. We mistake a burning desire within us for certainty that we’ll get it. But willpower alone can’t rewrite the laws of the universe. If you truly believe you’re destined to marry Megan Fox, I’m not going to say ‘keep at it’. You’re a delusional moron, and you shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near scissors or a working Facebook account.’ Mark Manson
284. ‘If you really don’t know what you want to do, you’re going to have to try things you haven’t done yet. And you’re going to fail – a lot – trying many different things, most of which won’t work. Kids find this a lot easier because they don’t worry about consequences. I encourage you to do the same.’ Mark Manson
285. ‘The secret to mastering your time is to systematically focus on importance and suppress urgency. Humans are pre-wired to focus on things which demand an immediate response, like alerts on their phones – and to postpone things which are most important, like going to the gym. You need to reverse that, which goes against your brain and most of human society.’ Mark Manson
286. ‘Humans are such funny critters. If you have a friend to meet, you’ll arrange to see them at a set time. But if you have something that matters to you more than anything – say writing a book, or going to the gym – you won’t schedule it. You’ll just ‘get round to it’. Mark Manson
287. ‘You want to design a life for yourself where you can engage in activities that you’re passionate about. Often, we’re happiest when we’re striving after goals that we think are important.’ Jonathan Clements
288. ‘It’s okay to want the promotion and pay raise, so you can buy the house and the car. But if the price paid is working at a job you hate, you have set yourself up for misery. It’s crucial to do work you’re passionate about. The journey is indeed more important than the destination.’ Jonathan Clements
289. ‘The reason to accumulate money is so you don’t have to worry about money. It’s sort of like health. It’s only when you’re sick that you realize how great it is to be healthy.’ Jonathan Clements
290. ‘Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.’ Maya Angelou
291. ‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.’ Maya Angelou
292. ‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’ Maya Angelou
293. ‘Reading is such a great way to gain knowledge and also to have fun and enjoy. That doesn’t matter whether you are young or an adult. I read now and love finding new books that excite me but also make me learn.’ Frank Lampard (Chelsea legend)
294. ‘Perseverance is sometimes but another word for self-reliance. Many persons naturally look on the dark side of life, and borrow trouble. They are born so. Then they ask for advice, and they will be governed by one wind and blown by another, and cannot rely upon themselves. Until you can get so that you can rely upon yourself, you need not expect to succeed.’ PT Barnum (The Art of Money Getting)
295. ‘You (Faculty staff) have given them (graduates) the ability to walk behind the mind’s elaborate set decoration, and to see that there is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that’s going to eat you. That may sound like no big deal, but many never learn that distinction and spend a great deal of their lives living in fight or flight response.’ Jim Carrey, commencement speech at Maharishi University
296. ‘Fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about your pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here, and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear.’ Jim Carrey
297. ‘I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.’ Jim Carrey
298. ‘What’s yours? How will you serve the world? What do they need that your talent can provide? That’s all you have to figure out. As someone who has done what you are about to go do, I can tell you from experience, the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.’ Jim Carrey
299. ‘You can join the game, fight the wars, play with form all you want, but to find real peace, you have to let the armor fall. Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.’ Jim Carrey
300. ‘This is the voice of your ego. If you listen to it, there will always be someone who seems to be doing better than you. No matter what you gain, ego will not let you rest. It will tell you that you cannot stop until you’ve left an indelible mark on the earth, until you’ve achieved immortality. How tricky is the ego that it would tempt us with the promise of something we already possess.’ Jim Carrey