Dating Tips 104

Fifteen Easy Ways to Approach Women, Be Confident and Find Love by Michael Mayweather

Dating Advice. Approaching women can be tough. Men sabotage themselves when they have a fear of rejection. Sometimes, you may forget what to say etc. Some men have limiting beliefs, such as believing the girl is too attractive for you. You have to let go of these beliefs. Women like confident and charming men. Certain tactics work better for certain situations.

Coffee Shops. This is not the ideal place to pick up women. There may be people studying. Sit down beside a cute girl when you see one. You could ask her anything, like what is she working on etc. Start off the conversation in a light hearted manner. Later, you can find out more about her likes/hobbies etc. Flirt and then get her number at the end of it all.

Bars. Your guy friends group can approach a group of girls. Try to listen in and laugh when they cracked a funny joke. Try to get close to their group first. Ask the girl you like for an opinion on something. Use your friends to distract the other girls who you are not interested in. Try to isolate her from the group after you first made contact with her.

Clubs. The noise is too loud. Therefore, you need to rely on body language and physical presence. To get her attention, offer to buy her a drink. Tell a joke or tease her at the bar area. Later, offer to dance with her. At the dance floor, you must be a great dancer if you want to pick up women. Emanate confidence and pull the women to dance with you. Try a dance-off if you are good. When the opportunity arises, pull her away from the group.

House Parties. You can play games with girls and guys. These will make the girls more attracted to you. If there is a quiet area, start talking to her and ask her who she knows.

Events. Talk to the girl about the event in general and why you are attending such an event. Don’t let the opportunity pass you. The good thing about events is that you already have something in common with her. Therefore, one should not let the opportunity slip.

Concerts. Try to approach her in between songs. Dance with her when the music starts again. Tell her how much you like the band. Get hyped up when you approach her in between band sets. Later, suggest to her that you want to appreciate the music together with her.

The Dog Park. Women can’t resist if you are walking a cute dog. The dog is your greatest wingman. Draw the girl in and get her to play with your dog too. Alternatively, you can play with her dog too.

The Beach. This is challenging as there might be hot guys as competition. Approach 1 on 1. Look at her face and not her body as much as possible. Do not make your intentions clear. Invite them to play ball with you in the water.

At Work. Rely on your charm. Complement her and make a joke about someone else. Tell her that she is cool and then ask for her number.

The Street. This is one of the toughest ways to approach someone. Think fast and be witty. Comment about what she is wearing or carrying. Compliment her dress/attire. Probe deeper to find out more about her. The other tactic is to tell her that you only asked her because you wanted to talk to her and wanted to get to know her more.

Public Transport. It is difficult as the train might be crowded. You must not worry about what others might think. Just talk to her about anything. Tell her how cramped the train is. Ask her about her work. Make her feel comfortable and you must be friendly. Do not start with flirting as things might get awkward.

The Grocery Store. Ask the girl for a recommendation for a product. Be creative and simple. You can also recommend a recipe for her. Keep the conversation flowing at the check-out. The key is to ask for her number after the checkout.

The Gym. Girls don’t like to be hit on when they are exercising. Flash the girl a genuine smile. If she smiles back, it is a sign that you can chat with her. Ask her how her routine is going .You can leave her alone next time, but this gives you the window to continue talking to her in future. Talking after is preferred.

Fitness classes (like yoga, pilates) are actually a great workout alternative which I’d recommend to anyone anyway, but as a bonus they’re typically dominated by women. If you spot a cute girl in a class you’re taking, you can chat to her either before or after class – never during. – Michael Mayweather

Girls in Groups. The trick is never to express interest in the girl you want right at the start. You must disarm the dominant alphas. Tease the group and talk to the men first. Disengage them so that they won’t think you are ‘creepy’. Ask about her friends. Finally, close by moving her to a quieter spot.

Using a Wingman. Flirt openly with her. Use a wingman to help you to distract the other girls.

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How to Connect with Nature by Tristan Gooley

Learn to take an interest in nature. Everybody wants to see a sustainable environment. There is a good reason to connect with nature. It can indeed be a very rewarding experience. You will be able to sense the power of every living thing. Look at a plant as a source of food. Learn to appreciate the present moment. Do not be oblivious of the surroundings. Appreciating nature has ancestral roots. This book is divided into at least 4 parts.

The Ground Ahead. Nature is indeed a huge network. Every journey is an enriching experience. Everything in our lives are all subsets of nature. Nature is also steeped in rich history. Abraham Maslow proposed the human hierarchy of needs in 1943. One must find practical ways to connect with nature. It is crucial to try new things. We not need to implement big changes to our lifestyle. Thinking about nature can change our thought patterns and make us see things in a different light. One must know their senses well. Using your senses will give you heightened sensory awareness. Beware of what is changing and reacting around you. Plants are known to be influenced by the type of light. They are actually quite intelligent in a sense. There is inherent conflict within nature although not many of us understand it. Nature is also competing for the need to thrive and to survive. Animals ward off predators by emitting bright colours. Similarly, brightly coloured road signs warn us of danger. The peacock’s eye on its back scares away predators. The Venus flytrap is an outstanding organism. It can spring a trap shut and kill victim in an acid bath. People who have experienced trauma will learn to appreciate the passing of time. The greater you can appreciate nature, the more you will appreciate the passing of time. Even if you visit the same nature place again later, the scenario will not be exactly the same. The world is like a music box that needs no winding. Time can sculpt our thoughts. People have a love-hate relationship with plants. Footwear is optional. Many things are inter-connected with one another. It is difficult to explain interconnectedness. One needs to experience it for themselves. We will return to a habitat in future.

Some of the most admirable creatures use colour and contrast for both sexual allure and violent repellence. – Tristan Gooley

The only certainty is that you will only get one opportunity to experience each scene exactly the way it is. It will be different if you return in ten months or ten minutes. – Tristan Gooley

Finding a Path. A Practical Way In. There are books on meditation. We all need to overcome inertia. Attempt the exercises below. Close your eyes and breathe deeply through your nostrils. Compare the effects indoors and outdoors. There are differences between the two. If you think this exercise is a waste of time, you might be too busy in your life. Be aware of your surroundings. We are sensitive to motion. Humans are always aware of threats and elusiveness. Humans remember myths and legends to remind us of danger. You don’t need to train a child to look out for danger. We are temperature sensitive. However, if you wear less clothing, you will get to experience the full force of nature in all its glory. Learn to read the sky. Understand the wind direction and temperature changes. You might be able to identify weather patterns from observing the sky. Learn to identify the different cloud patterns. Look for cirrostratus or cirrus clouds. Observe weather patterns changing. Who knows? Your weather prediction skills might even be better than experts. Spend a night in the wild. Camp in the outdoors and experience life. Humans have a need for shelter. Pines can be useful for this purpose. Take interest in all forms of water when you are dead thirsty. Pick up a pile of muddy water and observe the value of it. Spring water is obviously your safest bet. Foraging can be interesting as well. Pick up various wild foods and cook them. It can actually address hunger issues. Skilled people are able to identify non-poisonous plants from poisonous ones. Is hunting and killing animals cruel? Learn to identify the way home by looking at the moon alone. This is known as natural navigation. Children are naturally interested in nature. Creative people do not think much of nature, but there indeed a lot of beauty to it. Sketch a tree and you might think of it differently. Write about nature and your appreciation for it will grow. Spend 10 minutes sketching a tree.

The Senses. Being instinctive can actually save you. Some people can sense tsunamis. There are benefits to being observant. Some people are better at spotting dangers. Walking provides good time for self-reflection. The sense of sight is very powerful. However, we tend to only focus on the object at hand and not the surroundings. Go for a three minute walk outdoors. When you try that, focus on things that do not move only. We tend to focus on things that move due to our survival instinct. People look out for different things at the same time. A tree’s appearance can change depending on which angle you observe it from. A focused interest can be a double-edged sword. To be good at observing, we need to be aware of the blind spots as well. Go outside and listen to anything for just 1 minute. Hearing is not so directionally focused. Listening attentively is a great habit to develop and it can be very useful indeed. If you are good enough, you might be able to identify a dog’s unique bark. We become more aware of the creatures around us. What do plants hear? Note down what you are able to hear when you are outside. Smell and taste are closely intertwined. Human touch can be very intimate. Trees and plants are generally adverse to touching. Some plants are even more sensitive to touch than humans. The Mimosa pudica is sensitive to touch and will close if touched. By the heightened use of our senses, we can enjoy the perfect nature experience.

If we wish to notice more, it is a good idea to slow down; and noticing more will itself tend to make you slow down. This is true whatever you focus on. – Tristan Gooley

The Big Relationships. There is a lot of stuff out there. We are often overwhelmed by chaos. Is there an end to random matter? There are 25000 different species of orchids. We should not be bothered with each species. Rather, we should focus on the type of species that may be present in each habitat. Water often indicates the presence of animals nearby. Plants can survive on minerals, air and sunlight alone. Herbivores usually like to group together. Trees tend to dominate all types of land. Animals and plants have to adapt to the environment and their habitat in order to survive. Or else, they will perish. Plant life varies according to the type of altitude they are located in. We must learn to identify habitats. More plants prefer alkaline soil rather than acidic soil. Every plant is an indicator of some sort. The type of life present will tell you what environment is it about. There are grasslands, shrub lands, woodlands, wetlands etc. If you know the habitat, you can roughly guess which the animals that will inhabit the land are.

The Finer Connections. Nature is a series of specialists. Learn to recognize the background sounds. Some species work in tandem and only feed on certain species for food. No habitat is off-limits. The regulars usually introduce themselves after a while. Naming using Latin names is a way of distinguishing one species from another and is necessary. Naming is just a form of convention. Animals with similar characteristics usually have similar names. Attach nicknames to interesting species to make it easy for you to remember. Understand what a ghost orchid is. If you understand the backstory, appreciating of animal species is easier and also more meaningful. Learn to heighten your senses and detect change. Once you understand the story, it is easier to make a more meaningful connection. There are always many finer connections out there waiting for us.

The important thing for us to remember is that nature is a set of keys and interlocking connections. It sometimes takes a little patience to work out how to open a new lock, but the keys are there and the reward on the other side is a recipe for a form of alchemy. – Tristan Gooley

Nature is often like a painting that seems dull until you start to learn more about it. – Tristan Gooley

The Beauty of Conflict. Parasitoid wasps are real beasts. Rats are scavengers too. Although we can beat nature, at what cost must we pay? What harm are we causing to the environment? Is it recoverable? Conflict can seem like a beauty sometimes. We are only interested in conflict which can form a connection with us. Animals compete fiercely amongst themselves for resources to thrive and to live. Usually, places where there are less humans will be thriving with nature. Human influence is important. Evolution is never still and new species will emerge. Lettuce can manufacture a poison to deter aphids from attacking them. Now, plants are so smart that they can even pre-empt an attack by an animal by picking up chemical smells from other trees being attacked. Animals must regulate intake of food especially when it is scarce and in short supply. Weather patterns affect the type of species that can thrive at any given time. Animals have systems to warn them from attack. Conflict is inevitable in nature and makes it beautiful indeed. Greedy animals who kill excessively will not be liked by their peers.

Getting Closer. Hidden Calendars. Poinsettia’s leaves can turn red and is symbolic of Christmas throughout the world. It will turn red if exposed to darkness. What is time exactly? We don’t look at the sun or the night sky to determine time anymore. In the past, people relied on sky calendars. The constellations can help as well. Look at the direction is rising and setting from. Stonehenge is a famous place. Plants respond to light and temperatures in different ways. Learn to develop a connection with nature. Plants are sensitive to the length of night. Shedding of leaves by plants can also rid the plants of existing toxins contained. You can tell how old a tree is from its branches etc. ‘What does spring mean to you?’

Fast Change. Try a natural navigation course. You will be forced to think more. You must rely on the solar system. Use nature to determine your direction and your time. The cattle’s clock is the sun. A watch can track time, but a sundial can find time. Time only has meaning when you look up at the sky. Everything we observe outdoors is a once in a life experience.

We have truly learned to read time when we have discovered that nature itself allows us to distinguish each moment from those that come before and after it. – Tristan Gooley

Real Connection. The Clocks Within. Our body temperatures varies within the day like a circadian rhythm. Our alertness and mood levels vary as well. Animals often have a preferred time of the day for mating.

The Strengthening Cycle. There might be correlation between the presence of green spaces and someone’s BMI. Research has revealed that nature helps people calm down and become more generous. Nature can be a shared interest. It is good to be surprised by nature. Be delighted by it. If something amazes you, chances are that you will remember it better. Nature forces us to be humbled and amazed at its sheer beauty. Nature is interesting indeed.

Time spent in nature has been shown to improve self-esteem and conflict resolution. It also reduces absenteeism, and one hour spent in nature can improve memory and attention span by 20%. Nature can calm us, it can help us focus and, for many, it works as an antidepressant. – Tristan Gooley

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Dating Tips 103

Why am I single? How to find the love of your life by Bill McDowell

This book contains proven strategies. Learn to look deep at the problem. There are 11 chapters to this book. There are just so many reasons why people are still single. Singles are becoming increasingly common in this modern age.

You have high standards. You can set criteria but the thing about love is that you may just fall in love with someone completely opposite from your set criteria. If you are waiting for Brad Pitt to come, chances are that he will not. The issue is when you have an actual list of standards. Sometimes, you might break up with someone over a little squabble. This is very unfortunate indeed. You might feel too superior to go out with the person. Real people are not actors and actresses. Your friends are telling you that you are too picky. It is one thing to have good self-esteem but another to have high standards in women. In this case, it is necessary to adjust your requirements. Talk to people and actually make a genuine effort to know them.

Being single is a defense mechanism. Some of them might have poor past relationships and do not want to try for a new one anymore. Your past might hold you back from wanting to be in a relationship. However, there is a need to let go of your past. Go for a long holiday and let go of the past so that it will not haunt you anymore.

Low self-esteem. Some people stay away because they do not want to be hurt. Always try again. This often indicates a lack of confidence in relationships. You always blame the other party for the relationship’s failings. You crave for attention and do things to test whether he likes you. Some people are guarded and do not want to share things about themselves. There is a chance you might become overly obsessed with the person. You look for someone who is financially wealthy. You might look for necessary insecurities which might not be even present at all. Intimacy scares you. You should learn to stop pretending to be someone you’re not. Understand that it is okay to make mistakes. Learn to help others who are in need. Trust that you have made the right choice. Learn to be responsible for your actions.

If you choose to be with a person, do not be half-hearted about it. If you decide to do something, immerse your whole self into it. Do not stop until you achieve something. If you decide to love someone, give him or her your all. Do not worry about what could happen or if you are meant to be. – Bill McDowell

Arrogance. Extremely high confidence leads to arrogance. You may start to contact your partner without giving her eye contact. Arrogant people feel that it is okay to be late. You feel like you know it all. You blame your partner for everything. You start being condescending towards others and put them down. Be sincere and compliment and exercise empathy towards your partner for the relationship to work. Ask them whether they are okay and tell them it is okay to share their problems with you. Admit your wrongs and understand that fighting might not be necessary all the time.

It is all about financial security. Some men like to spend on themselves. As a result, they like to remain single. Ambition is good. Do not worship money. Do not feel like your partner is a threat if she earns more than you. You don’t have to choose between money and a lover. Chances are that you do not know how to spend wisely.

You are a gold digger magnet. Some guys are gold diggers. Learn to stay away from them. Gold diggers tend to hang out amongst other gold diggers. They like to ask a lot of questions on your financial background. If the girl refuses to pay for dates, chances are that she is a gold digger. She often receives favours due to her skimpy dress sense. They use other people as stepping stones. Do not use your status to attract women. The ideal case is to find someone who will love you despite your economic status.

You are obsessed with the wrong person. Learn to move on if this is the case. Do not simply obsess over one person. Humans are never easily contented creatures. We are hardwired to love what we cannot have. When you wake up, tell yourself that you can overcome these obsessive behaviours. Learn to divert your energies into other hobbies and make yourself become a better person. It is okay to ask for help. Pamper yourself by going to the movies and giving yourself a treat.

Past Abusive Relationship. There are different types of abuse. One of it is physical abuse. The other is emotional abuse. There are also verbal, economic and mental abuse cases. People who have suffered before then to close up and be reclusive in nature. This can be very dangerous indeed. The solution is to seek comfort in your friends and loved ones. Learn to care for yourself and pamper yourself. Do things that make you happy in order to recover. Look out for warning signs of abuse and be careful who you choose in future.

Wrong Location. Are you in the wrong city? Online dating is convenient and it is bringing people together. Be honest in your online dating profile. Don’t reveal everything online. Learn to be patient and do not send aggressive messages. Know when to stop and do not harass the other person. Learn to take the relationship offline. Embark on an adventure and sweep them off your feet.

You are not trying hard enough. Try to lure the potential partners in. Always say yes to chances where you can meet new people. Hang out at trendy places. Do not flirt unnecessarily. It is better to be friendly rather than flirty. Be mysterious and let the girl invest in you.

Take care of yourself and put some effort into looking good. Even if it is a regular day at the office or the gym, make sure that you look your best and you always smile because you never know when you are going to run into your soul mate. – Bill McDowell

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Dating Tips 102

Dating (Law of Attraction) The Secret to Finding Love and Relationships – Lisa Robinson

The law of attraction is proven to work. You will be able to attract the right type of date. Do not be disillusioned by the dating scene and learn to find the correct person. Dating is not a waste of time. Do not settle for anything else. The signals you give out must be consistent in order for you not to keep failing in the dating game. You can use the law of attraction to your benefit. Attracting people doesn’t have to be challenging and difficult.

The ‘Cinderella’ in the dating game. Some people like to over-impress and wear a façade when they go out on dates. However, such things are unlikely to work. Being yourself is far more important than what handbag you carry. You must present yourself in the best way possible. You won’t be finding your Cinderella as your girlfriend. Wearing branded goods isn’t the way to go as well. Learn to get your conscious and subconscious mind in tune with one another

What most people don’t appreciate is that you meet the right person when you drop all of the pretense and let people see the real you shine though. – Lisa Robinson

Mind Work. A lot of people focus too much on appearance but not the inner persona. Do not be nervous. You must never think that you are a failure. Go back to your roots. You must always feel that you are on the same wavelength as the other person and never feel inferior. You must be able to give out the right vibes. Learn to practise the exercises in the book. Let your subconscious take over. Think and recall happy moments in the past. Tap into old memories and see how you feel.

Laughter and Confidence. Do not try to be the guy you think the girl wants you to be. Be content for who you are and what you look at. If you ooze confidence, your quality will shine through easily. Learn to look strong and comfortable. Confidence can speak volumes from afar. Your posture matters too. Do not project an image of someone you are not. Body language is really important too. Learn to walk with your shoulders straight. Slouching will give the other person an impression that you are weak.

Introduce the Smiles. If you smile on the streets, most people will respond with a smile. This is the feeling of reciprocity. Practise smiling as being nervous might be really detrimental to your date. The law of attraction says that you attract a mirror image of the image that you project. Give the best and right honest impression. Observe yourself in the mirror and see how you smile.

Liking Yourself. You must like yourself before others can like you. Learn to recognize the abuser and the dominator. Be more conscious and attract people like yourself. Learn to like yourself. It is necessary to like yourself. You must feel like you are entitled to the girl. If you know what you want in a girl, there is a higher chance you will be able to attract this sort of girl. When you like yourself, things become a lot easier.

Learning to Believe in Yourself. Get all the negative thoughts out of your head. Replace all negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Learn to trust your own judgement. Self-trust is one of the most important things ever. Find out what you truly like in life. Explore movies, books and things to do. Learn to know yourself. Listen to music and find out how you react to it.

How you find that perfect date. Let things happen natural. If you don’t go out much, how can you meet people? Wait for the right moment to happen. If you like gardening, just go join a gardening club. It would be good to put yourself out there. However, there is no need to try looking too hard. Try to match up with others with common interests. Smile and be happy to be you. Just attend events and you never know where it might take you. Even if you carry past baggage, it is important to stay positive. How to go beyond the old baggage that you carry? Be ready to accept friendships all the time. Positive attitude is everything you need to succeed.

You need to feel comfortable with you and you attract people that are comfortable with themselves and that’s a very great attribute to have. For example, people who are happy with themselves are hardly likely to carry old baggage around with them. – Lisa Robinson

Getting Rid of Past Baggage. There are real benefits to mindfulness. Mindfulness is a change approach. It means living in the present. It is really appreciating every small thing. Learn to let go when bad things happen. You must produce positive vibes.

With the lessons above, you stand a much better chance of finding a girlfriend. Embrace everything that you have. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of where you came from. Observe the people around you.

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Dating Tips 101

How to Get a Girlfriend (Attract Women and Relationships) by Jordan Grey

This book teaches you concrete steps on how to get a girlfriend. Are you tired of getting rejected by women?

The Dilemma of all Men. Do you feel nervous when approaching a girl? Approaching someone is simple and is not rocket science. Learn to make your dreams come true.

The Science of Attraction. Love at first sight makes sense. People with symmetrical facial features are very attractive. We are also attracted to another person by their smell. Our body produces pheromones when we are attracted to someone.

How to Attract Women. It is good to look fit and toned. It is also important to dress well and look good and presentable. It is very important to form a great first impression. Always be yourself and don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be helpful towards her and everyone else as well. Make more connections with other people and widen your social circle to increase your chances of finding the right one. You can also practise on your dating skills and confidence level. Try your best to be brave and be a gentleman. Keep networking. Girls like to receive compliments. Make her laugh. Humor is an important part of the relationship. Flirt in order to stay out of the friend zone.

If your crush cracks a joke that isn’t funny, don’t laugh at it like a maniac just to make her feel good. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t adapt to certain things that might help you advance a relationship. Just don’t change who you are on a fundamental level. – Jordan Grey

You must maintain your own space and time. Whatever you’re conversing with your crush, let her know that you have a schedule as well, that you have classes to attend and hobbies to pursue. She will learn to respect your time and you as a person as well. – Jordan Grey

Approach her in a way that doesn’t radiate obsession. In other words, don’t tighten up. Instead, your presence must make her feel comfortable. Having said that, being slightly assertive does help. You are not there to make a friend who just happens to be female but a girlfriend. It’s a tight rope to walk on but you must strike a balance between being nonchalant about your feelings towards her and hinting that you want to be more than friends. – Jordan Grey

Landing a girlfriend isn’t a chore…Of course, rejection can be a total downer but just a video game, you get to try again and again. So, don’t forget to have fun when you’re out socializing with women with whom you feel a connection with. – Jordan Grey

Once you’ve established to your crush that you are definitely interested in her, flirt with her. Let her know that you’re romantically interested in her. Touch her back when guiding her through a crowd. Give her special attention. Let her friends know that you are deeply in love with her. All of these things are very much assertive and that’s the point. – Jordan Grey

Not every girl will be attracted to you just as you are not attracted to every girl. Therefore, it is normal for a girl to reject your advances if she is just not into you. It may be for various reasons: your looks, social status, way of thinking etc. But that does not mean you should stop trying. There will always be someone who thinks in the same wavelength as you and you have to believe that. – Jordan Grey

Keeping her hooked to you. Be the one who ends the conversation. Let her know you have a life outside. The guy must decide what to do and where. Do not text her and ask for a date. Do not keep talking about yourself when on the date. Talk about her passions and what are her visions for the future. Understand her likes, desires, wants and future. Make your second date even more special. Go with the flow. There are different ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. However, do not ask over Facebook or SMS.

Call her and set the date. Be assertive. A man with a plan is an attractive man. If she would rather go to another restaurant, have plan B at the ready. This proves to her that you have genuine interest in her and that you plan two steps ahead just in case things don’t work out. – Jordan Grey

Your heart will yearn to talk to her right away after the date ended but you must refrain from doing so. Don’t call or text her right away. Wait a day or two if you can. The main objective of doing this is not to look desperate. Playing a little hard to get will ultimately be beneficial for you. – Jordan Grey

Go on more with dates with her if she’s willing. They will serve as opportunities for you to get to know her better. There is much about a person that stays hidden under the surface. Coaxing them out is a matter of time and patience. And that is the crux of any relationship. – Jordan Grey

Understanding Women’s Body Language. Look out for a smile. If she tilts her head downwards and smiles, she is attracted to you. If she fixes her hair in front of you, she is keen. If she twirls her hair and looks at pretty boys, she is interested in you. If she holds your hand or makes accidental physical contact with you, she is interested. If she sits close to you, it’s a good sign. Usually, a tilt of the head downwards is not a good indication. A girl who mirrors your body postures and gestures probably likes you. If she speaks a little louder and sounds animated, it probably means that she likes the topic of conversation.

Crossed arms are a bad sign, so are hand rubbing or clenched fists\Just noticed a pretty girl checking you out while walking down the street. Look back once you’ve passed her. If she turns around to get a better look at you, she has definite interest in you. – Jordan Grey

How to get a girlfriend – a culmination of all that you’ve learned so far. Do research on her prior to the date if possible. What are her hobbies or interests? Her friends might be able to help you. Approach her with a smile. It is important to be confident and determined. Do not exhibit shyness. Learn to groom yourself and look good. Is she twirling her hair or are her pupils dilating? Be the one who ends the conversation. Keep talking to her even after the date. Keep the date light and happy. There are no rules for the second date. Move in for the kiss if you observe correct body language. Be patient and let the relationship grow. Do note that all relationships are not perfect.

How to get your ex back. Accept that you have done wrong in the past. Recall what she liked about you in the past and try to be that same guy again. Give your ex 2 weeks to breathe. Try to detect the tone used. If she picks up, observe her tone. Hesitation could indicate that things could stick work out. Patience is the key.

Try to remember what it was about yourself that she fell in love with. If you can rekindle the old you inside yourself, she might just reciprocate. – Jordan Grey

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How to Thrive in the Digital Age by Tom Chatfield

Technology has really been a big miracle which has transformed our lives. Smart-phones and gadgets are becoming increasingly powerful. The smart network will change our lives. People across different generations may not have appreciation for such technologies in the same way. We all live in a massive data cloud. Networks are powerful and it allows us to connect with other like-minded people. How can we live well in this digital age?

From Past to Present. The first digital compute was invented in the 1940s. In the 1970s, the microprocessor and the first computers were born. Our machines are even more and more powerful. The smartphone is gradually replacing the laptop. Most of us are hooked to mobile phones. Now, we are technological creatures. Computers have limitless flexibility and power. Everything can be provided by an integrated system. You have everything, including a full range of movies, at your fingertips. We are in more control than ever before. Producing a book is a lot faster than ever before. There is an information overload and we need to sieve through this heap of information all the time. Digital media or programming can animate objects and make them come to life and fruition. What should we use our devices for? Where has all your time gone to? Reading a book is going for start to finish. However, on Facebook, it is more of like entering a public sphere and reading comments and news. People tend to paint a façade online. Technology amplifies our nature. The internet is powerful and definitely has benefits and perks. We need to figure out what it takes to be human.

Getting what we want online is often distant from getting what we need – although both tend to happen faster. Disembodied, moving through online space, we are afforded greater ease than when we are sharing a physical environment. We are able more easily both to be altruistic and open, and to deceive and cause grief – our lives made easier by ignoring human realities beyond each screen. – Tom Chatfield

Veiled behind ever greater complexities, we perpetually risk distancing ourselves from fully committed relationships with each other, and from fully introspective relationships with ourselves. – Tom Chatfield

Wired and Unwired Time. In 1921, a boxing match had more viewers outside the ring than in the ring. This was the dawn of a new age. Now, 2 billion people are connected with one another. We are viewing media more and more nowadays. Media usage and amount of time spent is increasing. People are switching from TV to iPhones and Facebook. This is our new state of wakefulness. We spent too much of our waking hours online and surfing the net. Now, we need signages to warn people against surfing the net too often. Plugging in confers benefits like speed and range. Through Wikipedia, one can access a hive of information. However, unplugging will allow us to have time to reflect on our lives. Try not to multi-task excessively. Unplugging does not necessarily involve staying on a mountain somewhere. It involves small changes to your lifestyle. Time is our most precious resource.

Yet, more than ever, it is clear that we all need some time in our lives for thinking our own thoughts without distraction, interruption or immediate feedback. It is also clear that, if we are not careful in guarding and managing such time, technology may take it from us. – Tom Chatfield

Taking Control. On average, we text more than 7 times per hour. Texting is simply a simplified version of ourselves. There is a need to go beyond that and ask for more. It is not just about unplugging. We need to figure out the best way to live life and to utilize technology. Research is clear and it shows that multi-tasking slows you down and increases the chance of you making mistakes. This is especially so when mental effort is required. Research shows that it will take you at least 15 minutes to concentrate on the task again if you tried to multi-task. When performing a complex task, it is important to give it your full attention. What kind of attention do we deserve? Digital memory is superior to human memory. Human memory is poor and people tend to forget things. However, there is a story behind every memory that a human recalls and this cannot be reproduced in digital memory. We cannot outsource our true memories. Humans are really good at adapting. There are apps which can help you to focus on a particular task. Being offline might afford you moments that are individual and serendipitous in nature. Writing helps you to slow down and give you time to process your thoughts. We must be able to adapt to circumstances.

Composed, edited and re-composed of its making: no hesitations, slips, unintended implications or distractions. It’s at once instant and asynchronous, requiring but not demanding attention. It asks almost as little as possible from all involved. – Tom Chatfield

Reframing Technology. I visited Google in 2010. It is an all-encompassing place with everything there. Google is a tool and a verb. They are focused on efficiency. Many people are concerned about online privacy. Despite this, it is necessary to think of the consequences when engaging in online behaviour. Students should be taught how to operate databases. Digital media is largely inert in nature. It is more and more difficult to understand technology well. Sometimes, you don’t own a product and the product is only licensed to you. You are ‘their product’. Note that there are limitations to Amazon, Facebook etc.

Sharing, Expertise and the End of Authority. In the early 1990s, Sergei Brin and Larry Page wanted to improve quality of search results offered. The number of times a page is linked could offer insight into its importance and quality. There was an algorithm used. What impact does huge data processing has on our cultural and intellectual value? What the impact of ‘authority’ nowadays in modern society? Which search results are the most authoritative in nature? Often, through search engines, we are relying on what has been provided to us. Today’s culture is governed by intellectuals and artists and gatekeepers. The Internet may have drowned out exceptional voices. Are many traditional business models doomed to fail? Algorithms can’t solve every problem out there.

Indeed, this is the beating heart of most digital business models. Instead of first selecting and then publishing, you publish first and then respond to the world’s own selections – relentlessly maximizing those things that win an audience, and wasting little effort on those that don’t. – Tom Chatfield

On Becoming Less than Human. Has technology increased the rate and popularity of pornography? They are prevalent on digital networks in a huge way. One can get it easily without any filters. It is no longer innocent. You are not the only one who watches such things. People are looking for short-term relationships on Craigslist. There are even sites which guide you on how to avoid detection if you want to have an affair in your marriage. There may be people whose lives will be affected if they are addicted to certain online behaviors. If you cut yourself off from other human relations, troubles will start. Instant gratification brings about downfalls. Strangely, sex and porn have not managed to compete with other digital activities just yet. We are receiving a lot of spam mail nowadays. Members of our community need to look out for such trouble cases and enforce from within. This is known as self-policing. There is an informal ‘blogger’s code of conduct’ circulating around. Some people like to create fake profiles so that they can criticize others online.

Depersonalization entails the exploitation of digital ease and unreality to hollow out the central values of a life: social identity, the ability to relate and be related to sympathetically, opportunities for honest self-expression and sharing. – Tom Chatfield

Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say in person. – Tim O’Reilly

Play and Pleasure. Have we found artificial intelligence? Science fiction has existed for centuries ago and it is not something that is new. We spend too much time on computer games. Being addicted to online gaming can have a toxic effect on your everyday life. Some people try to take refuge in an online life. When you return to reality, you realize that it is harsh. Sometimes, online items in games can cost a lot of money. Therefore, the industry is actually very valuable indeed. You can even outsource the gaming to someone in China, for a price. Angry Birds is simple, but yet so successful. Gaming is moving from consoles to mobile phones. Mastering the game or levelling up can be a very rewarding process for your brain. Angry Birds is a ‘tame’ rather than ‘wicked’ problem. Life is a ‘wicked’ problem as there are simply too many unknowns. We do not like wicked problems as they are harder to tackle. Instead, we prefer tame problems. We like predictability and repeatability. Games can be a blessing. We can learn from digital games to find out what the best ways for engagement.

Perfection of a kind is possible in a game like Angry Birds. Given enough time and effort, every single one of the world’s hundreds of millions of users can earn 3 out of 3 stars on every single level. We do not and cannot have this in the real world; and we are in trouble if we learn to expect it, or fail to develop strategies for coping with life’s wicked, unrewarded, onetime sorrows. – Tom Chatfield

Within academic studies of happiness, the correlation between being unemployed and having low life-satisfaction is one of the strongest results to be found. The chunk of life-satisfaction gained by playing Second Life, however, was almost equal to that gained by findings a job and thus ceasing to be unemployed. – Tom Chatfield

The idyllic simplicity of skilled effort being immediately rewarded by a useful and attractive result – even a virtual one – can be as satisfying in its way as crafting a wooden bowl or baking a loaf of bread. – Tom Chatfield

In play, we abandon the wicked for the tame. This is a deep part of why play pleases us so much; and why, in evolutionary terms, it has so much importance across the animal kingdom. Play is a safe state within which we learn skills, from co-ordination and combat to speed and concealment. We play in order to practise for life – because life itself is never practice. – Tom Chatfield

The New Politics. Ideas and ideologies can spread rapidly online. Movements can gain viral status online. The stakes for action are increasing nowadays. Now, media does not just report news but can create them. However, being online does not necessarily make you free. China uses censorship on the online media. Privacy concerns lead to ethical issues as well. Legislation will have to evolve as well. We must examine not just technology, but in the social and cultural arena in which it operates. Documents can be shared almost instantly nowadays over the Internet. We must stand up for our freedoms. There is also a need for legislation in this area.

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How to Live in the City by Hugo Macdonald

Being human is itself difficult, and therefore all kinds of settlements have problems. Big cities have difficulties in abundance, because they have people in abundance. – Jane Jacobs

This book will help guide you through challenges faced in city living. It will help you feel human in an inhuman environment. Daily commutes are unpleasant. However, with increasing populations, infrastructure services are strained to cope with the capacity. There are few books that guide you through city living and how to cope with the hustle and bustle. The author grew up in a rural environment. In the past, I thought London was a dangerous place. Cities tend to be chaotic. The pace of the place can overwhelm you. This book is for anyone that lives in a city. One needs to build a relationship with the city. This relationship must be nurtured and developed. London is my home. The city can have a thrilling effect on people. There is boundless energy about the place. There are times when you need to speed up or slow down. Learn to take responsibility for yourself. There is a growing trend of people living in cities. Money ain’t the only issue for all of your city woes. However, human values and inner peace are far more important. How do you find your place within the city? How do you build relationships with other city dwellers and a relationship with yourself? One of the chapters focuses on work/life balance. How can one give back to the city?

It is a book that seeks to share, through experience, observation and common sense, the potential for our healthy growth as humans living together in an urban environment. – Hugo Macdonald

How to Feel Your City. What does the city feel like? A part of the city can feel like poetry in motion. Shake hands with your city through understanding about about its values. Some buildings might speak to you personally. Stroke the building with your flat palms. Buildings can be responsible for energy and memory. It can be a symbolic gesture. It works better with older buildings. Rome is an especially historical place. It is normal to feel overwhelmed in a city. Sometimes, advertisements and billboards can paint a different view of the city. What does your city stand for? What are some of its qualities? What is your soul made up of? European cities all have rich histories. The American cities might feel more industrial in nature and the Asian cities feel more transient and digital. London is stoic and hard, yet modest and proud. It is important to define what your city represents. Learn to apply EQ in your relationship with the city. Find a spot you like and continue to visit it. Try to find a vantage point where it enables you to feel the heart of the city. For humans, connection to places is important. Connection to space is closely linked to landscape and nature. However, it is possible to love buildings as much as mountains too.

We must free ourselves from our tendencies to see cities as buildings and remember that the real city is made of flesh, not concrete. – Edward Glaeser

Can I be myself here? Feeling settled gives great boosts to our emotional and mental health. Do you feel settled in your neighborhood? Socially fragmented societies lead to many problems. Do you feel like a member in your community? Spend a day at a pub or coffee-shop to observe the environment in your neighborhood. There is a lot of value in passive watching. Street signages say a lot about the city. These might be calls to action but usually are calls to halt. No one likes to feel insignificant or that they don’t matter. Realize that your neighbours can be fun. Slowly, you will grow to love the place. You can talk to the people around you or even sign up for classes/community initiatives. Learn to make a routine. Humans are creatures of habit. Having a routine is important when you are living in a city. It helps one to establish order. There is a beauty and art of slowing down. This helps to generate calm and beauty. Daily rituals can be very important and valuable indeed. However, do not set too inflexible a schedule as well. Sometimes, do something spontaneous. Break your routine in a tactful manner.

Am I missing out? Do you know the latest happenings in the city? Do you feel left out? The fact is that there are too activities happening at once. One needs to be confident in your decision making. There is no need to listen to peer pressure. Plan ahead and plot things in your calendar. Cities can be dangerous as well. Keep to places where there are more people. Exercise common sense and be vigilant to keep yourself safe from trouble. Foster your own feelings of safety. Build connections with others in your neighborhood. The problem with living in cities is the dirty air around us. Use a napkin or tissue when you sneeze. Germs are everywhere in a city. It is important to tolerate the behaviors of others.

Have confidence in your choices: make sure that they reflect who you are, and what you enjoy. Don’t succumb to peer pressure, or let yourself become a wingman in someone else’s experience of city life. – Hugo Macdonald

How to conduct relationships? We are social creatures. What is public? What is private? Learn to master the art of being alone. In a crowded city, your privacy is at risk since others are so close to you. Sometimes, by accident, you might also find out about someone else’s life. The boundaries of what is private and public have slackened much. Surveillance is also a big issue nowadays. There are many CCTVs abound. Cities are about the people. Relationships with the food server or service staff is very important indeed and must not be overlooked. Learn to smile and greet others around you. A good neighborhood is rooted and everyone is warm towards one another. Everybody has a part to play. A neighborhood is basically a collection of stories and places. The fact is that in a modern society, people interact less with one another. Sometimes, this depends on the culture where you are in. Loneliness has repercussions on your health and well-being. If you practice a hobby in the open, chances are that people will notice and start talking and complimenting you. It is important to have friends in the city. You are never too old to make friends. There will definitely be things where you can connect with someone. Learn to connect people socially and professionally. However, do not give all your time away. Daily city life is exhausting. Be there for your friends. You need to feed your friendship in order for it to grow. People are too buried in their smart-phones nowadays. We create false personas online and we have difficulty meeting those images of ourselves. Sometimes, it is good to be in a relationship as it can calm you down. One can feel lonely in a crowd. You need to spend time with yourself. Is technology truly a good thing? Are you living your life through your phone? Once in a while, you will find that leaving your phone behind can be a good thing.

It’s about being aware, being alert and taking responsibility for situations. If you find someone lost, ask them if they need help. If you see or sense that someone is in distress, don’t leave it up to someone else to step up – chances are, a hundred others have had the same response before you. Be the rock against the flood. – Hugo Macdonald

Advice on how to make friends: Do things. Join things. Sign up and share parts of your life with others. If you hide yourself and your feelings behind too many projections or personas, you won’t attract playmates that connect with you genuinely are. – Hugo Macdonald

Sign up for something with a friend. And if you meet someone you find interesting, be brave and initiate the offer of a date. It takes two to tango, but it always takes one person to ask another to dance. Don’t sit and wait. – Hugo Macdonald

The most important relationship you must nurture in the city is the one you have with yourself. It is fundamental to your mental, physical, social and emotional well-being. If you don’t work at finding peace with yourself, then it will be extremely difficult to form relationships with others. – Hugo Macdonald

How to be hard and soft. Can we slow down? What is work-life balance? Nowadays, people want to work to live and not live to work. They are more concerned with their work and the contribution to society. More and more people are looking for meaningful work to fill their time. Money and status are not everything nowadays. However, people are working very long hours nowadays. It is crucial to come to terms with your work, your life. The joy is about finding the right balance between work and play. Stress can be contagious in a city environment. However, stress can be channeled into something positive. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Be strong and attractive. Ask for advice from your networks. The key is not to moan at your own current situation and wallow in self-pity. Write down your list of anxieties as that will make you feel better. Ask yourself what small changes you can make to your lifestyle. Take on a new direction of work at your workplace. Write down a plan of how to move forward. Boredom is also another problem people face in their daily lives. Feeling bored means disengaging. However, it can be useful sometimes. The problem with cities is that they can be over-stimulating and this can be exhausting for the individual. These voids of time can be indeed energizing for your body. It is okay to take rest sometimes so as not to allow your body to be physically and mentally burnt out. Learn to have extra-curricular interests. Make time for the things you love doing. Good public spaces make for happier residents. Learn to be engaged and responsive. Talk to people and even consider volunteering in public spaces. It is important to cherish eating out together. Introduce yourself to the world of food. Instead of drinking excessively, look for support groups around you. Take positive steps to take care of your well-being, your mind and your soul.

Experience is simply the name men give to their mistakes. – Oscar Wilde

Learning, mastering and practicing something extra-curricular is an opportunity to explore depth, not skim across the surface. Do something with the intention of getting good at it. Do it because you genuinely want to do it, not because you feel you should or because it’s something to talk about that makes you interesting. – Hugo Macdonald

The rhythm of the street through its daytime ebb and flow was a thing of immense beauty; it is a street that feeds people. It’s primal. It is an ancient rhythm played out in streets in cities throughout history the world over. – Hugo Macdonald

How to Move and Be Still. Are you going the right way? City life is mobile and always on the go. How do you embrace the humdrum of the city? Most people dislike commuting. We feel like cogs in a machine. Sometimes, a longer commute is better as you will get to experience the sights of the city. The key is to be happy during your commute. Get up early and visit your favorite coffee place. Being alert takes practice. Listen to the urban environment and not your phone. Different cultures play a part during your commute. Do not be over-reliant on your phone for the GPS. Not all those who wander are lost. Sometimes, you can find gems when you are lost. Being late is an epidemic. Being early suggests that you are in control of the situation. When you are early, you give yourself time to think and to digest your thoughts. When you are late, you feel stressed and worried. Pavements are the heart of the city. It is possible to read the pavements and the life in them. You must be present in the moment. Be curious and pay close attention to your environment. There is certainly value in how others go about their daily lives. There is a wealth of knowledge in taxi drivers. Be prepared for emergencies by ensuring that you have enough gadgets or accessories with you. Exercise in the city and feel its heartbeat. Never let procrastination get in the way of exercise. You can feel euphoric when cycling.

Think of the history in some of the buildings or streets you pass through. It’s humbling to consider that you are but one life among many that have trod these paths, past and present. Feel the significance in that. Plug yourself into your urban environment, not your phone. – Hugo Macdonald

A commute can also be the perfect opportunity to digest your thoughts. Finding headspace in the city is tough and our commute is a precious daily chunk that we have to ourselves. It helps us to park thoughts, decisions or struggles that require active thinking about and save them for a commute when you can give them focused attention. – Hugo Macdonald

You are never really lost in the city. But feeling lost is a good thing to succumb to occasionally. It encourages us to explore in a way that we don’t often allow ourselves time to do, given that we are so busy and time is so precious. And through exploring, we discover things. – Hugo Macdonald

Above all, do not lose your desire to walk. Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill. Thus if one just keeps walking, everything will be alright. – Soren Kierkegaard

How to Give Back and Grow. Am I part of the city? We need to be responsible for our city. It is important to see what role you play in your city. Learn to make your voice heard in the city. Keep a routine and then make time for yourself and stay in control. You can give back by starting a book club etc. Find empty spaces and create culture. Consider what your strengths and interests are so that you can determine how best to contribute back to the society. Join a march for a common cause. Terrorism has indeed shocked our shores greatly. We experienced British stoicism in the face of the 2005 bombings in London. Learn to explore your own town and act like a tourist in your own town. Every attraction is rich with history and experiences. We all need breaks once in a while. A day trip is great for recharging. Weekend breaks are more about discovery. Longer holidays are something great to look forward to. Take stock of your achievements and what you want to do in future. Write down your goals/ambitions and ensure you commit to them wholeheartedly. Ultimately, it is important to be human and soak in the city’s vibrancy and life.

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