Dating – Romantic Relationships, and Finding them in the Modern World by Adam Chorley
We live in a free world where online dating is rampant. However, marriage rates are decreasing and some people feel that relationships are not worth the effort to invest in. Modern people do not have good role models in life to learn from. The book will provide a guide on how you can find the right one and form a romantic relationship with. You can learn from others with poor past relationships. Do not hesitate anymore and commence your dating life.
Finding your Ideal Partner. The relationships that last are those between like-minded people. Research has shown this. Think hard about those people you have loved before. You have to genuinely like the whole person and not just certain parts of the person. You must really look forward to spending time with her. You and your partner should make dating fun and exciting in nature. Spend time with a person because you enjoy doing it. Always ask whether you are attracted to the person or not. Always seek to improve yourself.
People that stay together tend to be of a similar age, have a similar level of education and intelligence, have similar religious or political beliefs, and are in synchronicity about other things. – Adam Chorley
It’s all too common to date or lust after someone just because it’s convenient or because you’re afraid of being lonely. The reality is that you don’t really want to spend time with this person. – Adam Chorley
Rather than being a hunter looking to capture people he finds attractive, you need to be someone that is trying to enjoy and improve themselves while being open to love. – Adam Chorley
Where to Meet a Partner. You need to put yourself out there. If girls could pick guys up, where would you rather be to maximize your chances of being picked up? The place should allow for good and easy conversations. An art class is certainly a possibility. The best way to meet someone is through shared experiences. The trick is to find like-minded people. Venture out of your comfort zone and try new activities.
You can try a site such as meetup.com to find groups or clubs that meet regularly to talk and mingle. You could also try going to things that will have like-minded people attending such as music, sporting or art events. – Adam Chorley
Making a Connection. This chapter will teach you how to make a connection. If there are no girls at the events you attend, maybe you should stop. However, do not approach the girls immediately during classes as this might seem creepy and all. Try to be friendly at the start. Do not be shy and learn to ask for a girls’ number. You must look attractive and dress well. Sincere confidence is the best trait at your disposal. Hygiene is really important. Hair and clothes are important as well. Clothes should fit snugly so as to make you look attractive. However, do not try to be excessively vain. Be comfortable with who you are. Give your opinions when they are due. There is no need to blindly agree with the girl. Try to ask more questions if you are an introvert. Simply make observational remarks when you see her. There is nothing wrong with expressing your interest in them. Build rapport by spending more time with them. Have lunch with them etc. Be positive during conversations and talk about shared interests. Give eye contact and touch another person to flirt with her. However, test the waters first before touching her. Lean forward and try to sit closer to her if possible. Flirting should be natural once you are attracted to someone. You need to assess the vibe first.
If you can’t see anyone at your chosen event that is appropriate for you, don’t give up just yet. You might meet someone through a like-minded friend found at this event. – Adam Chorley
Be warned that summing up the courage to say hi to someone on the street or in a bar require very different approaches to meeting someone whilst doing an activity. – Adam Chorley
Flirting should not be used as a way of testing whether someone likes you or being used intentionally to try and seduce someone. – Adam Chorley
Getting a Date. There is no right date on when you should go on a date. It is all dependent on how you feel etc. Dating should be hassle free if she already likes you at the start. Dating should not be stressful especially if you have already met her in previous events. If you are confident, you can ask the girl immediately out on a date. Have a plan as to where to go works. You might ask her about her availability. One trick is to ask what are they doing later and if they are free to hang out or not. Asking over online chat works too. Walk and talk dates are good too. A park/gallery should be good. Picnics are possible too. Visit the botanic gardens or something. Your first date should give you time for chit-chat. Keep your first date organic and cheap. Do not ‘bribe’ the girl into liking you.
Don’t worry about rejection… If you do get rejected, avoid putting too much energy into mulling it over or trying to convince them they were wrong. If they aren’t interested, it wouldn’t have worked out long term. – Adam Chorley
Realistically where you go on your date won’t matter too much if you are on a date with a person that you enjoy spending time with. – Adam Chorley
Do be firm with your plans and avoid confusion or the dreaded feeling of not knowing how to kill the rest of the evening. – Adam Chorley
Having a Good Date. Don’t be too judgmental during a first date. Wear nicer clothing during the date. A gift is optional. Do not be late. Try to seek common topics where both of you will enjoy immensely. Spice them up with tough questions to keep them on their toes. Make the effort to be funny. Compliment the girl easy in the relationship. Do not touch excessively. There is no need to end the night with a kiss. Go wild with the girl. Do not treat the date that seriously. It’s just a date. Do not reveal too much about yourself or the negative bits about yourself.
People tend not to enjoy whining or repetition too much. If you talk about work, tell interesting stories or try to be positive. Don’t tell them too many negatives about yourself or why you hate your job. Do talk about your passions and ambitions. – Adam Chorley
If you wish to drink, drink enough to let conversation flow, but avoid getting drunk and doing things you will regret. – Adam Chorley
Making it Long Term. Learn from bad experiences during dates. There is no need to be too clingy after your first date and text immediately. Yet, do not text after 2 days or so. That is really not advisable. You have to judge whether she had fun during the date. The more time you spend with each other, the luckier you will get.
A good tactic is to make sure you have talked about things you are interested in doing during the date to make a follow-up message easy: if you talked about a film you are both interested in seeing then go see it. – Adam Chorley