How to Thrive in the Digital Age by Tom Chatfield

Technology has really been a big miracle which has transformed our lives. Smart-phones and gadgets are becoming increasingly powerful. The smart network will change our lives. People across different generations may not have appreciation for such technologies in the same way. We all live in a massive data cloud. Networks are powerful and it allows us to connect with other like-minded people. How can we live well in this digital age?

From Past to Present. The first digital compute was invented in the 1940s. In the 1970s, the microprocessor and the first computers were born. Our machines are even more and more powerful. The smartphone is gradually replacing the laptop. Most of us are hooked to mobile phones. Now, we are technological creatures. Computers have limitless flexibility and power. Everything can be provided by an integrated system. You have everything, including a full range of movies, at your fingertips. We are in more control than ever before. Producing a book is a lot faster than ever before. There is an information overload and we need to sieve through this heap of information all the time. Digital media or programming can animate objects and make them come to life and fruition. What should we use our devices for? Where has all your time gone to? Reading a book is going for start to finish. However, on Facebook, it is more of like entering a public sphere and reading comments and news. People tend to paint a façade online. Technology amplifies our nature. The internet is powerful and definitely has benefits and perks. We need to figure out what it takes to be human.

Getting what we want online is often distant from getting what we need – although both tend to happen faster. Disembodied, moving through online space, we are afforded greater ease than when we are sharing a physical environment. We are able more easily both to be altruistic and open, and to deceive and cause grief – our lives made easier by ignoring human realities beyond each screen. – Tom Chatfield

Veiled behind ever greater complexities, we perpetually risk distancing ourselves from fully committed relationships with each other, and from fully introspective relationships with ourselves. – Tom Chatfield

Wired and Unwired Time. In 1921, a boxing match had more viewers outside the ring than in the ring. This was the dawn of a new age. Now, 2 billion people are connected with one another. We are viewing media more and more nowadays. Media usage and amount of time spent is increasing. People are switching from TV to iPhones and Facebook. This is our new state of wakefulness. We spent too much of our waking hours online and surfing the net. Now, we need signages to warn people against surfing the net too often. Plugging in confers benefits like speed and range. Through Wikipedia, one can access a hive of information. However, unplugging will allow us to have time to reflect on our lives. Try not to multi-task excessively. Unplugging does not necessarily involve staying on a mountain somewhere. It involves small changes to your lifestyle. Time is our most precious resource.

Yet, more than ever, it is clear that we all need some time in our lives for thinking our own thoughts without distraction, interruption or immediate feedback. It is also clear that, if we are not careful in guarding and managing such time, technology may take it from us. – Tom Chatfield

Taking Control. On average, we text more than 7 times per hour. Texting is simply a simplified version of ourselves. There is a need to go beyond that and ask for more. It is not just about unplugging. We need to figure out the best way to live life and to utilize technology. Research is clear and it shows that multi-tasking slows you down and increases the chance of you making mistakes. This is especially so when mental effort is required. Research shows that it will take you at least 15 minutes to concentrate on the task again if you tried to multi-task. When performing a complex task, it is important to give it your full attention. What kind of attention do we deserve? Digital memory is superior to human memory. Human memory is poor and people tend to forget things. However, there is a story behind every memory that a human recalls and this cannot be reproduced in digital memory. We cannot outsource our true memories. Humans are really good at adapting. There are apps which can help you to focus on a particular task. Being offline might afford you moments that are individual and serendipitous in nature. Writing helps you to slow down and give you time to process your thoughts. We must be able to adapt to circumstances.

Composed, edited and re-composed of its making: no hesitations, slips, unintended implications or distractions. It’s at once instant and asynchronous, requiring but not demanding attention. It asks almost as little as possible from all involved. – Tom Chatfield

Reframing Technology. I visited Google in 2010. It is an all-encompassing place with everything there. Google is a tool and a verb. They are focused on efficiency. Many people are concerned about online privacy. Despite this, it is necessary to think of the consequences when engaging in online behaviour. Students should be taught how to operate databases. Digital media is largely inert in nature. It is more and more difficult to understand technology well. Sometimes, you don’t own a product and the product is only licensed to you. You are ‘their product’. Note that there are limitations to Amazon, Facebook etc.

Sharing, Expertise and the End of Authority. In the early 1990s, Sergei Brin and Larry Page wanted to improve quality of search results offered. The number of times a page is linked could offer insight into its importance and quality. There was an algorithm used. What impact does huge data processing has on our cultural and intellectual value? What the impact of ‘authority’ nowadays in modern society? Which search results are the most authoritative in nature? Often, through search engines, we are relying on what has been provided to us. Today’s culture is governed by intellectuals and artists and gatekeepers. The Internet may have drowned out exceptional voices. Are many traditional business models doomed to fail? Algorithms can’t solve every problem out there.

Indeed, this is the beating heart of most digital business models. Instead of first selecting and then publishing, you publish first and then respond to the world’s own selections – relentlessly maximizing those things that win an audience, and wasting little effort on those that don’t. – Tom Chatfield

On Becoming Less than Human. Has technology increased the rate and popularity of pornography? They are prevalent on digital networks in a huge way. One can get it easily without any filters. It is no longer innocent. You are not the only one who watches such things. People are looking for short-term relationships on Craigslist. There are even sites which guide you on how to avoid detection if you want to have an affair in your marriage. There may be people whose lives will be affected if they are addicted to certain online behaviors. If you cut yourself off from other human relations, troubles will start. Instant gratification brings about downfalls. Strangely, sex and porn have not managed to compete with other digital activities just yet. We are receiving a lot of spam mail nowadays. Members of our community need to look out for such trouble cases and enforce from within. This is known as self-policing. There is an informal ‘blogger’s code of conduct’ circulating around. Some people like to create fake profiles so that they can criticize others online.

Depersonalization entails the exploitation of digital ease and unreality to hollow out the central values of a life: social identity, the ability to relate and be related to sympathetically, opportunities for honest self-expression and sharing. – Tom Chatfield

Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say in person. – Tim O’Reilly

Play and Pleasure. Have we found artificial intelligence? Science fiction has existed for centuries ago and it is not something that is new. We spend too much time on computer games. Being addicted to online gaming can have a toxic effect on your everyday life. Some people try to take refuge in an online life. When you return to reality, you realize that it is harsh. Sometimes, online items in games can cost a lot of money. Therefore, the industry is actually very valuable indeed. You can even outsource the gaming to someone in China, for a price. Angry Birds is simple, but yet so successful. Gaming is moving from consoles to mobile phones. Mastering the game or levelling up can be a very rewarding process for your brain. Angry Birds is a ‘tame’ rather than ‘wicked’ problem. Life is a ‘wicked’ problem as there are simply too many unknowns. We do not like wicked problems as they are harder to tackle. Instead, we prefer tame problems. We like predictability and repeatability. Games can be a blessing. We can learn from digital games to find out what the best ways for engagement.

Perfection of a kind is possible in a game like Angry Birds. Given enough time and effort, every single one of the world’s hundreds of millions of users can earn 3 out of 3 stars on every single level. We do not and cannot have this in the real world; and we are in trouble if we learn to expect it, or fail to develop strategies for coping with life’s wicked, unrewarded, onetime sorrows. – Tom Chatfield

Within academic studies of happiness, the correlation between being unemployed and having low life-satisfaction is one of the strongest results to be found. The chunk of life-satisfaction gained by playing Second Life, however, was almost equal to that gained by findings a job and thus ceasing to be unemployed. – Tom Chatfield

The idyllic simplicity of skilled effort being immediately rewarded by a useful and attractive result – even a virtual one – can be as satisfying in its way as crafting a wooden bowl or baking a loaf of bread. – Tom Chatfield

In play, we abandon the wicked for the tame. This is a deep part of why play pleases us so much; and why, in evolutionary terms, it has so much importance across the animal kingdom. Play is a safe state within which we learn skills, from co-ordination and combat to speed and concealment. We play in order to practise for life – because life itself is never practice. – Tom Chatfield

The New Politics. Ideas and ideologies can spread rapidly online. Movements can gain viral status online. The stakes for action are increasing nowadays. Now, media does not just report news but can create them. However, being online does not necessarily make you free. China uses censorship on the online media. Privacy concerns lead to ethical issues as well. Legislation will have to evolve as well. We must examine not just technology, but in the social and cultural arena in which it operates. Documents can be shared almost instantly nowadays over the Internet. We must stand up for our freedoms. There is also a need for legislation in this area.

Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage by William Glasser/ Carleen Glasser

The only person you can change is yourself. The more you try to change others, the more unhappy they will be. Only a few adjustments are needed to make a failing marriage work. The eight lessons are useful indeed.

Divorcing is not the only option. Often, things might turn for the better after a while. No one is responsible for making you happy, even your spouse. The ideas contained are simple and easy to understand. The ideas can be applied to other relationships as well.

Infatuation is not love and it won’t last. Some just go separate ways after the infatuation stage. The problems start after infatuation dies. Couples need to rekindle their romance. Even if you find someone else, the infatuation ain’t going to last long as well. This is the reason why many turn to affairs. The book focuses on the impact of choice theory. Do not expect to master all the 8 lessons at once. Try your best to limit external control in a marriage. Change the way you relate to one another.

External Control can Kill a Marriage. Be patient with your partner’s flaws. For instance, your partner might be untidy and messy. Sometimes, couples stay married because it is convenient and it beats the unknown of separation. As a psychiatrist, he doesn’t prescribe psychiatric medication. In an unhappy marriage, one partner tends to blame the other for their unhappiness. The main source of unhappiness is when people try to control one another. It is like coercing the others to behave in the way I want. There is no upside to this. This is exclusively used by humans to control others. If you threaten your spouse to do something, the effects could be worse in the long term. Ask yourself this question ‘If your mate continually tries to control you, what could you do that would help your marriage?’ Do not constantly have the need to correct your spouse. Be wary of control freaks.

External control is a psychology in which people who practice it always know what is right for other people. – William and Carleen Glasser

We choose all our behavior. Learn to move towards choice theory. We all choose what we do. Replace external control with choice theory. Use this axiom ‘All we do from birth to death is behave, and every behavior is chosen.’ No one can make you do anything. No one can control you unless you let them. There are 5 basic needs. The five basic needs are 1) survival; 2) love and belonging; 3) freedom; 4) fun; 5) power. Humans need one another and strive to procreate. Control leads to the need for power. Some people value freedom and don’t like to be controlled. The evidence shows that more men tend to go astray as compared to married women. Fun can be divisive as well. Power is also largely only applicable to humans. External control is a chosen behavior and there is no need for that. Opposites attract isn’t true. Ask yourself this question ‘How compatible is the way you are attempting to satisfy your basic needs with the way your partner is choosing to get his or her needs met?’

The basic needs have a lot to do with marital compatibility. For example, couples who share a high need for love and a low need for power tend to be happier together. – William and Carleen Glasser

Never Use the Seven Deadly Habits. The first and the worst is criticism. The next is blaming your spouse for everything. The third is complaining. The fourth is nagging. The rest are threatening, punishing and bribing. If you can eliminate the above, your marriage will be much happier. Supporting is a good strategy. Encouraging each other is important. The third good habit is active listening. Accept what your partner sees in you. Accept each others’ imperfections. Trust your partner. Respect one another. Negotiate to win-win situations if possible. Which of the caring habits do you need to work on first?

Get Acquainted with each other’s quality world. Understand the quality world concept. People play a very important part in a ‘Quality World’. This is based from our most pleasurable experiences. Understand your spouse’s quality world. Care for one another and exhibit caring habits. If differences exist, negotiation and compromise must take place. Usually, the people we love are placed in our quality world. Our good friends might also be included as well. We also put people who are similar to us in our Quality World. To have a long lasting marriage, we need to satisfy each other. We can tolerate external control from our boss. Things can also be contained in someone’s Quality World. Addictions usually emerge because of unhappiness in a marriage. There might also be religious or political beliefs that might be different. In this case, there are things that need to ironed out. Work together to build a common Quality World. Ask yourself ‘What do you need to negotiate to make your Quality Worlds more compatible?’

Understand Total Behavior. Focuses on feelings alone can be bad. One should focus on acting and thinking as well. Think in ways that make you feel good. Total behavior consists of ‘thinking, acting, feeling, and physiology’. You only have voluntary control over your thinking and acting. You do not have direct control over your feelings. It is what you think that will influence how you feel. Thinking and acting influence feeling and physiology and control its direction. Steer the marriage towards a choice theory one. The idea to keep your marriage moving and do something fun together. Ask yourself, ‘which wheels are in control of your marriage, front or rear?’

A Little Creativity can save your marriage. We are all creative. We are often the most creative when we are asleep. Try to resolve differences and suggest improvements which both of you can do together. Having fun is a great way to spice up a marriage. Stop threading on old ground. A new marriage idea needs to be new and supported. Flush boredom out of your marriage. Show appreciation for one another. Refer to the marriage as ‘our marriage’. This is very important indeed. Keep the level of humor high and learn from them. Marriage is supposed to have its lighthearted moments. Ask yourself, ‘When is the last time we used our creativity to have a real good time together?’

Treat your partner as he or she would like to be treated, regardless of whether he or she treats you that way. – William and Carleen Glasser

At your discretion, share what you are doing for your marriage with your children. Your children might want to be involved too. Do not expect too much from a partner. Do not treat your pets better than you treat your own children. Before you engage in any of the 7 deadly habits, ask yourself ‘Is what I am about to do going to harm our marriage?’ Never put yourself what you want ahead of your marriage. Humans always like to feel right. However, there is no issue with admitting being wrong sometimes.

Try New Ways to Improve Your Sexual Intimacy. Some men can have orgasms in their mind. You can have an orgasm without an erection. Sexual performance should not be associated with pressure to perform. Orgasm is a gift for the relationship. Sex is one way for your relationship to feel intimate and connected.

Happy Hour is 9 to 5 by Alexander Kjerulf

How to Love Your Job, Love Your Life, and Kick Butt at Work

You can jump out of bed on a Monday and look forward to your upcoming week. You look forward towards making a difference and are proud of what you do. Is it possible to be happy at work? Can you really be energized on Mondays? There are a lot of advantages of being happy that can translate to your own happiness. Later, after leaving my previous job, I started Woohoo Inc. Woohoo Inc was a company that gave employees happiness solutions. There is no greater joy than making others happy. Happiness leads to better productivity in both your personal and work life. Happy employees are also more creative and service-oriented. The book will encourage you to be happy and the benefits of happiness at work. The book will feature some examples of companies which have made it.

What is Happiness at Work? Learn the word ‘Arbejdsglaede’. These are ingrained in the culture of Scandinavians. It literally means ‘Work Happiness’ in English. Some of the things that make you happy are: you enjoy your work; you are proud of your work; work with amazing people; work is important to you; are appreciated; you are learning and making a difference. Learn to feel good. Try to make others feel good along the way as well. Bad jobs can kill people. Happiness is subjective and also depends on people’s preferences. It is unique to the individual. Happiness is contagious because of mirror neurons. Unhappiness is very more contagious than happiness and needs to be watched closely. You can’t force people to be happy. It has to be an invitation. You can’t dictate whether people should be happy or not. Job satisfaction does not equate to happiness. Job satisfaction is a rational process, whereby you rationally think about your job. Happiness is more of what you feel about your job. It is normal to feel unhappy once in a while, but the unhappy days should not outnumber the happy days. The perfect job doesn’t exist for sure. It is possible to be happy at work in most jobs. Decide to be happy, and make choices to be happy. It is up to you.

The more you express your happiness, the stronger it becomes inside you. If you hold your happiness in and never express it, it gradually dissipates. Express it clearly and visibly and it gets stronger and lasts longer. – Alexander Kjerulf

Happiness at work is not limited to those people lucky enough to have found their calling. It’s not only for those whose job is their first career choice. Even if the job itself is fairly generic, it’s possible to love it. – Alexander Kjerulf

Even if the work itself is perfect, that is absolutely no guarantee you’ll be happy at work. If your manager is a terrible person, if the mood at the company is bad, if you’re being bullied or treated unfairly, you will be unhappy at work, no matter how great the job. – Alexander Kjerulf

Even if you have a lot of perks at work, if the atmosphere sucks, you will still be unhappy. It’s what you do with what you have that matters. You must take charge and take control of your life. With these 2 things, you will be happy: Results and Relationships. We want to 1) make a difference; 2) contribute value; 3) know that our work matters; 4) get appreciated; 5) feel needed; 6) do work which we are proud of. Control is very important. Be positive and be yourself. Nice co-workers, a great boss, good communication all matters. Relationships make us happy. Be positive and be yourself. Instead of results, organizations should focus more on relationships. Praise is one of the most effective ways to make someone happy. It has to relevant, timely and personal in order to be effective. Give them a token or a small reward. Learn some professional skills. Have fun at work. Be curious and expand your horizons. Take a course in anything. Create a culture of learning in your organization. Learn something new about your co-worker today. Teach more. Learn about other people’s job scopes. Try new stuff out. Try new approaches to doing things and be prepared to fail sometimes. People always make mistakes and that can’t be avoided. Give employees the autonomy they want.

If we can control our environment, we will be happy. Let employees participate in the decision making process. Better in control of your work patterns will make you happy. Have an open to-do list. Allow employees to sit in during board meetings, make the financial statements transparent etc. There are 3 levels of meaning you can find at work: 1) No meaning, you find no meaning in what you do; 2) Your work has meaning because it pays the bills and supports your family; 3) You are contributing to something great and it is meaningful. Almost every job has meaning. Ask yourself how you are contributing etc. Make your results visible. Keep a to-do list so that you can track your progress and achievements. Do something other than yourself. Care for the environment and go green. Being positive at work is crucial for your success. There are many benefits associated with being happy. It is possible to teach yourself how to be happy. It is wrong to force yourself to be positive all the time. Some of the things you can do are: 1) Keep a happiness log book; 2) Have fun; 3) Be yourself; 4) Say what you think; 5) Show what you feel. Express love. Practise random acts of kindness. Say good morning and goodbye. Conduct the ‘smile’ experiment. Take an interest in other people. Help people out at the workplace. Learn to socialize. Make love the foundation of your work.

No matter how much you enjoy your job today, if you do exactly the same things in exactly the same way for a long time, sooner or later you will stop enjoying it. Human beings are learning machines, learning from everything that goes around us, and loving that feeling of getting better and wiser. – Akexander Kjerulf

Knowing that you have helped others through your work is a tremendous source of meaning. It is direct evidence that you are making the world a better place and helping people out. It’s also immensely satisfying, and a great way to get happy at work. – Alexander Kjerulf

You don’t need to make friends with everybody, but having positive relationships at work is one of the most important factors that ensure happiness at work. Positive relationship can be fostered with co-workers, employees, customers, suppliers, or even competitors. – Alexander Kjerulf

Pursuing money, promotions and job security can lead to unhappiness. When you get a raise, your happiness will increase, but it is just a temporary feeling. However, if you are paid too low, you will feel unhappy. Rewarding people has the effect of reducing motivation. Inner motivation is the way to go. Pay people fairly and at a level where they feel comfortable at. Salaries have no lasting effect on happiness. Too much job security will lead to laziness and lower standards at work. Too much job security might also lead to apathy and cynicism.

Bad boss is one of them. Many people who leave their jobs leave because of their boss. There are several ways to deal with a bad boss. 1) Classify your boss; 2) Let your boss know what they could do better; 3) Assume no bad intentions; 4) Choose the right time to talk; 5) Do it sooner rather than later; 6) Explain the effects on you and the effects on your work; 7) Suggest alternatives; 8) Praise your manager regularly. Another group are difficult co-workers. Do not overwork yourself or celebrate putting in a lot of hours at work. More hours doesn’t translate to better results and higher productivity. Workplace stress is not healthy and can lead to long term health problems. Figure out what makes you stressed at work. Celebrate the work you do. 1) Realise the conflicts are inevitable; 2) Handle conflict sooner rather than later; 3) Ask; 4) Use giraffe language; 5) Get mediation. Bureaucracy sucks. Bullying sucks as well. Negative people in the office can bring you down. You can try to make boring tasks more tolerable by making it fun. Humans have a biological need to be treated fairly and this can be seen even in animals. Unfairness can make you very unhappy. Fear of losing your job can make you unhappy.

You can always find more reasons to work. There will always be one more thing to do. But when people don’t take time out, they stop being productive. They stop being happy, and that affects the morale of everyone around them. – Carisa Bianchi

There are no jobs out there in which every single task is fun and exciting. Any job contains boring moments, routine tasks, unpleasant assignments and contact with annoying people. Of course, if your job mostly consists of tasks you really hate to do, then maybe it’s time to move on to a different job. – Alexander Kjerulf

An unhealthy diet can affect your attitude at work. Learn to keep your body trim. A healthy diet will allow you to focus on work tasks more. Eat granola bars as compared to chocolates that give you a sugar rush etc. Chart your energy levels every day. Modify your routine so as to maximise your energy levels. Sitting is bad and is sedentary. Learn to conduct stand-up meetings etc. Just move! Try to have power naps to replenish energy and boost productivity. Alcohol decreases your physical energy and affects productivity at work. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Have some me-time.

Your happiness level will determine your success in life. In the past, people adopted the Protestant Work Ethic, where people only worked hard. In the past, manual labour was very common and people didn’t complain. We should aim to be happy at work. Work takes up so much time. Work provides us with a sense of identity. It affects our personal life. Work has an impact on your health and well-being. Happiness leads to success.

Some people can have a lousy day at work and then go home and be happy as if nothing has happened. However, most people can’t pull this off and a bad day at work tends to affect the rest of their day. – Alexander Kjerulf

Happiness is Good For Business. Put people first. Happy employees will work harder for you and help you make more money. There are many other benefits associated with it. Happy people vastly outperform unhappy ones. Unhappy employees will cost you. Innovation is sparked from happy people. They are more motivated. They deliver better service. They can handle change better. Therefore, as a business, you should learn to embrace happiness.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Do not expect the manager to light your fire. Make yourself happy at work. The company’s atmosphere is simply to create an environment which is conducive for happiness. Your co-workers should work together with you to create that environment for happiness as well. Things will only change when you choose to act and be proactive about it.

Don’t settle for Meh, settle for Yay! Think back to a situation at work where you felt happy. Write it down and reflect. Dig up real-life experiences. This method is known as Appreciative Inquiry. Visualise your goal. Don’t go for okay, go for happiness! Whether to stay or to go? Whatever your choice, make it a happy one and squeeze as much happiness from it as possible.

It is frighteningly easy to stay in an unhappy work situation simply for the salary and the stability. Many people do this year after year. The worst part is that the longer you put up with an unhappy job, the harder it gets to remember how much fun work can be and the harder it gets to move on and do something about it. – Alexander Kjerulf

Make time for your people. Give people a space to air their views. Thank employees for their good work. Visualize a happy organization. Ask hypothetically questions to see whether you are truly happy. Create the business case for happiness at work. Announce your priorities to your organization and make people happy.

The actions you take must be (1) fast; (2) easy; (3) fun. Learn to involve other people and remember that happiness is contagious. Make others happy in order to feel happy as well. Make time for happy activities in your life. Celebrate goals together. Happiness is one of the greatest forces around.

The Human Machine by Arnold Bennett

Your brain is a machine and please do not give up so easily. Learn to understand yourself better and do not take things for granted. Spend more time to focus on your soul and brain. Most people do not seek to understand how their mind works. Character building is crucial in development. Alter your brain so that it will obey you. Form habits and train your mind. Let your brain undergo periods of exercise in concentration so that your brain will not forget so easily. If you do all of this, you are in control of your brain. Habits are difficult to form, but constant repetition will make things easier for you. We often like to blame external factors when in most times, it is your brain which is the one at fault.

You are in control of your thoughts. Learn to think kind thoughts consistently. Be forgiving and treat others with dignity and respect. The tone of your voice matters a lot. Use a nice tone so as to avoid any friction. Temper can be cured by good self-control. Learn the powers of concentration. Don’t sweat on the small stuff. Do not care too much about what others think or what they are thinking at the current moment. Do not neglect yourself. Learn to criticize less. Humans can change over time. You always have the ability to change yourself. Direct your willpower to the things that matter most. Live for the present moment. Treat failures as learning opportunities. Always have a curiosity about life and how it works. Use common sense and respect your environment. There is no doubt that money does not bring happiness to people. Cultivate good saving habits. In general, the brain works better than the heart.

 

I am master of my brain. No one can get in there and rage about like a bull in a china shop. If my companions on the planet’s crust choose to rage about they cannot affect me! I will not let them. I have power to maintain my own calm, and I will. No earthly being can force me to be false to my principles, or to be blind to the beauty of the universe, or to be gloomy, or to be irritable, or to complain against my lot. For these things depend on the brain; cheerfulness, kindliness, and honest thinking are all within the department of the brain. The disciplined brain can accomplish them. And my brain is disciplined, and I will discipline it more and more as the days pass. I am, therefore, independent of hazard, and I will back myself to conduct all intercourse as becomes a rational creature. Arnold Bennett

 

The secret of smooth living is a calm cheerfulness which will leave me always in full possession of my reasoning faculty—in order that I may live by reason instead of by instinct and momentary passion. The secret of calm cheerfulness is kindliness; no person can be consistently cheerful and calm who does not consistently think kind thoughts. Arnold Bennett

 

Money is not the principal factor in happiness. It may be argued whether, as a factor in happiness, money is of twentieth-rate importance or fiftieth-rate importance. But it cannot be argued whether money, in point of fact, does or does not of itself bring happiness. There can be no doubt whatever that money does not bring happiness. Yet, in face of this incontrovertible and universal truth, the whole public behaves exactly as if money were the sole or the principal preliminary to happiness. Arnold Bennett

 

 

So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport

 

Following your passion is dangerous advice. Buddhism emphasizes on the unity of nature. Autonomy and ability can be more powerful than passion. Learn to develop your skills first. Passion is bullshit. Do not rush. It is difficult to predict in advance what you will love. You need time to grow to learn stuff. It takes hard work to master something. Focus on being better. Adopt the craftsman mindset. To earn a lot, you need to offer something valuable in return. The 3 disqualifiers are (1) The job gives you a few opportunities to learn; (2) The job is useless; (3) The job forces you to work with people you dislike. Time management is very important. Develop muscle memory. 10,000 hours rule. Adopt deliberate practice and study hard. Always seek to get better. Be patient. Control is very important in a job. However, achieving control can be difficult. Do not pursue more control unless you have career capital to back you up. If you are valuable enough and have the right career capital, you can ask your employer for more control. Be wary of the law of financial viability. Your idea must be viable. Have a unifying mission to achieve meaning in life. Master a niche before finding a mission! Use small steps and small bets to see if your mission will be successful in the future. Market your mission to make it known to others.